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10 definitions by AlimonyBob

When you get a handjob, and the chick is jerking you so fast, that you get a friction burn, and you cum all over her, blinding her with your hot man liquid.
Dude, I promise you I will never go to that girls house again, she gave me the worst Amish Tea Kettle I've ever gotten!
by AlimonyBob May 28, 2011
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Soon after interacting with or handling a condensed surface more than likely, but not limited to, a cold beverage, and then proceeding to shake someone's hand.
I was waiting for my interview to start while sipping on my iced coffee from DunkBucks, when the manager came through the door to greet me. I placed the iced coffee down from my right hand, and gave him a stern condensation handshake. I saw his grimace when our two hands met, and I just knew this would affect my chances of getting the job. The interview proceeded with some obvious awkwardness as I didn't get a chance to mention the reason why my hand was wet. Maybe he thought I just washed my hands? Perhaps he thinks I find it sexually attractive that enjoy pissing on my hands and shaking random stranger's hands? Whatever the case may have been, I finished the interview with the best of my abilities, but sadly did not get the job. I look back on this time everyday of my life and think, "what if?" as the condensation handshake was really the underlying reason I didn't get the job. It's okay though, I never truly lost my fated destiny for a career at DunkBucks. Thanks DunkBucks, you're my only friend.
by AlimonyBob September 17, 2015
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Continuing a trend of eating a lot of food over a short period of time, when you know it is not in your best interest.
Bob displayed true fatboyism when he ate back to back to back at Chipotle, Five Guys, and Dominos, settling it all down with a pint of froyo.
by AlimonyBob September 25, 2015
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A sexual position so unspeakably atrocious, that the people involved cannot describe what the fuck just happened.
Girl: What the fuck did we just do to each other?!?!

Guy: I don't know....I don't know! Rendition!?!? I don't know!
by AlimonyBob October 19, 2011
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On a week night, you go to your friends house and draw a penis outlined in peanut butter on the front windshield on his or her car. If they are late for school or work, you have succeeded.
I was leaving for work when I notice someone Peanut-Butter-Dicked my car. I was late for my porn role!
by AlimonyBob May 28, 2011
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When you piss on someones face, getting it all through an onion ring, then shitting all over their face.
Bro, I so gave this girl a Japanese Onion Ring last night!
by AlimonyBob May 28, 2011
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The method of taking a shit, jizzing on top of it, then crafting it into a puck shape for later consumption.
My mom made a special Armenian Ringding recipe for the bake sale last weekend. THEY OWNED.
by AlimonyBob October 19, 2011
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