Alfred F. 's definitions

Forage

To roam around a kitchen eating either ready-to-consume food such as potato chips and crackers or unprepared culinary components such as dry tortillas/bread/cereal/pasta, condiments that would normally be on top of something else, desserts, or cold leftovers. Food thus consumed is usually washed down with beverages straight from the container. Foraged food is exemplified by a lack of preparation and by its consumer standing or pacing while eating. Many a diet focuses on preventing or limiting foraging.
Foraged food generally requires less effort than bachelor chow or ramen to prepare for eating; anything more than a wrapper or a lid between countertop and mouth may disqualify the food as foraged grub.

Mom: what happened to the bag of croûtons I left on the counter for salad tonight?
Kid: *hides empty bag behind back*...I dunno.
Mom: Didn't I tell you not to forage between meals? You're going to make yourself sick. You're not a goat; don't eat like one. You're going to put on weight and stunt your growth. Back when I was your age...

by Alfred F. July 30, 2007

Care Bear

1. Lightly derogatory term for an MMO player who avoids PVP combat, heavily preferring cooperative or solo PVE combat, chatting, or developing tradeskills/running quests. Depending on the game and the individual, this PVP avoidance can show up in several ways: by playing on strict non-PVP servers; by avoiding PVP areas or declining duels; or, by avoiding or condemning PVP players. Philosophically, they often cite unbalanced combat systems, overpowered guilds, ebayed characters, and ganking as reasons to prefer less aggressive play. The mindset can be self-sustaining in several ways: high-level "care bears" may have avatars that are tailored for PVE, not PVP; they may not network with skilled PVP players; or, they may morally refuse to learn aggressive PVP tactics. As an insult, the term applies less to players who merely prefer PVE to PVP and more to individuals who question the basic legitimacy of PVP or who greatly overreact to their avatars' deaths. Bear in mind that it is strictly incorrect to refer to the victims of heavy exploiters as Care Bears. Abbreviated CB. Compare with RPK, Player Killing/PK, PVP.
2. Adjective describing a strictly PVE server or game.

1. PVP: *kills CB*
CB: What the ****? I didn't do anything to you; why did you kill me?
PVP: You were there.
CB: This is bull****. Go away!
PVP: *kills CB again*
CB: Quit camping me! WTF is wrong with you?
PVP: You were still there.
CB: *logs out*

2. Player 1: Hey, why don't you come over to Final Fantasy XI? I'll get someone in the guild to level you up.
Player 2: Sorry, I prefer PVP MMOs; FFXI would be way too Care Bear for me.

by Alfred F. April 28, 2007

furry

Someone who enjoys writing long, boring, apologetic definitions for their fursuit fetish.

Furry: What is it to be a furry? It is not a simple term to define. One has to consider, naturally, the anthropomorphic quality inherent in most instances of the proclivity, but really, it is more of a philosophy, a basic way of seeing a different form for yourself. That vision can be expressed in various ways, from artistry and poetic invention to socialization with like-minded folks. Generally, tbey share an interest in literature and imagery containing antrhopomorphic creatures. Most furries are pretty normal people, but in some cases...

Cynic: Dude, you get off dry humping people while wearing a fuzzy mascot suit and looking at doodled pictures of cat people.

Furry: W...what?

Cynic: Jeez, don't worry about it; whatever turns you on. I kind of like fat chicks. Just show some courtesy and shut up about it, ok? I don't go around saying that I've had some sort of intellectual revelation after I've shagged a whale.

Furry: *sniffle* But I don't...I mean, I mostly just appreciate the art and...

Cynic: Pardon me while I go appreciate some art "depicting" a BBW eating pork rinds and Twinkies off her belly.

Furry: You're sick.

Cynic: BUT AT LEAST I'M HONEST!!!

by Alfred F. July 30, 2007

worst day ever syndrome

Spiraling depression. A condition in which a person feels that each day they live is worse than the preceding day. Most generally, this phrase applies to individuals whose personal lives are merely stagnant, rather than actually becoming worse by the day, as might be the case for a starving refugee or a cancer patient.

"Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up. "
Office Space, 1999

People who exhibit symptoms of worst day ever syndrome are urged to immediately seek professional help -- or to acquire a social life, whichever seems more feasible.

by Alfred F. May 6, 2008

henessy

A misspelling of Hennessy, a Cognac liquor somewhat recently popularized by Tupac Shakur and several other performers. As listed in urbanDictionary, evidence of the mentality of many consumers of said liquor.

"LOL **** this henessy crunk I poured got me royally ****ed up over here!!!"
"It's Hennessy, and Red Bull and Cognac don't mix, dip****."
"what the f*** your problem man? it all good"
"Not if you're making it out of my fridge."

by Alfred F. March 26, 2007