Definitions by Alfie The Horndog
American Idol
It's rigged. I mean think about it... over 60,000 people supposedly try out for it and yet they have so much early footage of people who make it to the top 12...
And they purposely let absolutely horrible singers through to see the judges, because mocking bad singers is a huge attraction to the show...
Also... notice the unusual balance of the runner ups and winners of the show... I mean first season... an attractive white young female wins - runner up is a young white male, then a large black male - runner up an geeky looking white male, then an average sized black female - runner up is a larger younger white female, then another attractive white female - runner up attractive white male, then an older white male - runner up a young white female.
In order to maintain this balance, I think the winner this year will be a young black male or female... and the only one who really matches this is Jordin Sparks. Go Jordin! Even if you were already selected to win, early on.
Despite being rigged though, it is pretty darn entertaining, if you don't have anything better to do.
And they purposely let absolutely horrible singers through to see the judges, because mocking bad singers is a huge attraction to the show...
Also... notice the unusual balance of the runner ups and winners of the show... I mean first season... an attractive white young female wins - runner up is a young white male, then a large black male - runner up an geeky looking white male, then an average sized black female - runner up is a larger younger white female, then another attractive white female - runner up attractive white male, then an older white male - runner up a young white female.
In order to maintain this balance, I think the winner this year will be a young black male or female... and the only one who really matches this is Jordin Sparks. Go Jordin! Even if you were already selected to win, early on.
Despite being rigged though, it is pretty darn entertaining, if you don't have anything better to do.
American Idol by Alfie The Horndog March 10, 2007
Boot Camp
Boot Camp by Alfie The Horndog March 10, 2007
wooley rocket
A pyrotechnically modified water rocket.
To make a wooley rocket, you just wrap tin foil around a water rocket and then ultra-fine steel wool around the tin foil.
Pump up the rocket with water and get it ready to launch. Then light the steel wool with a nine-volt battery and send it on it's way.
The rocket looks like a big fire-ball arching across the sky. Have a fire extinguisher ready though when it lands as it will definitely set whatever it lands on fire!
To make a wooley rocket, you just wrap tin foil around a water rocket and then ultra-fine steel wool around the tin foil.
Pump up the rocket with water and get it ready to launch. Then light the steel wool with a nine-volt battery and send it on it's way.
The rocket looks like a big fire-ball arching across the sky. Have a fire extinguisher ready though when it lands as it will definitely set whatever it lands on fire!
wooley rocket by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
steelwool
Long continuous shaving of steel, iron or copper that is wrapped up in balls and sold in hardware stores.
Used for scrubbing, cleaning and buffing just about anything, they are avaliable in different thickness from super-coarse for scrubbing pots to ultra-fine for buffing balsa wood.
The ultra-fine stuff can bet set on fire with a nine-volt battery for cool firey and smokey effects. See wooley rocket.
Used for scrubbing, cleaning and buffing just about anything, they are avaliable in different thickness from super-coarse for scrubbing pots to ultra-fine for buffing balsa wood.
The ultra-fine stuff can bet set on fire with a nine-volt battery for cool firey and smokey effects. See wooley rocket.
steelwool by Alfie The Horndog July 4, 2006
Alessandra Marc
World famous opera singer from Spain. Considered by many to be the best female soprano in the industry.
Alessandra Marc by Alfie The Horndog April 26, 2006
The Universe
Everything there is, at least by peons that don't know any better.
The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.
I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.
The Universe is relative... to the creatures that live in it, it's everything, but to the people who create them it's just another task that has to be maintained every couple thousand years.
I think the Universe we humans live in is really a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. I think it was created by some advanced, but very fallible, students using futuristic technology. To us these students are our Gods. To their professors they are total smegheads and gits, always causing trouble.
Two Gods are taking a leak in the restroom....
God #1: So how is The Universe going?
God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.
I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?
God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!
I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.
God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.
God #1: So how is The Universe going?
God #2: My professor thinks I'm going to have to flood the damn thing and start over from scratch. The DNA is just so corrupted from so much inbreeding.
I *knew* I should have added "Thou shalt not do thy brothers and sisters" to my list of commandments. How about yours?
God #1: Well I already tried the flood thing... plus I sent down massive earthquakes, tornadoes, volcanic eruptions and the like... and many of them STILL won't acknowledge my existence!
I think maybe if I send down that Messiah I promised to that git early on, it might help.
God #2: I wouldn't hold your breath on the Messiah thing. I mean it MIGHT work... in about 2000 years or so.
The Universe by Alfie The Horndog April 4, 2006
Emily Post
The woman who literally wrote the book on etiquette. Also used as an antonym for anyone who has bad manners or doesn't care about manners.
Emily Post by Alfie The Horndog March 30, 2006