Definitions by AWOFF

tortellini 

A precious and slightly obnoxious name for a baby tortoise.

Wife: Oh, look at that cute tortellini munching on some grassy wassy!

Husband: Shut up, honey.

tortellini by AWOFF December 2, 2011

Polar Bear 

Putting Icy Hot on your condom.

Reaction to being polar beared:

Girl: Oh yeah.......... oh yeah...ooooooooo.....o...........awwwwwwOOOOOHHHHHH......no.....no......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Polar Bear by AWOFF December 2, 2011

Impromptu Ding Dong 

Before you proceed to make sweet love to a woman's anal area, be sure that she has eaten a hearty meal. As you are giving it to her good, tell her when you are about to come. This next part is very tricky. As you come, she will simultaneously shit, thus enveloping your cum in her shit. The end product resembles a Hostess Ding Dong.

I didn't have to go to the convenient store because my girlfriend and I made an impromptu ding dong. We split it.

Impromptu Ding Dong by AWOFF November 21, 2010