$lapaho's definitions

police shooting

(noun) - The act by which hero police put a stop to a criminal attempting to harm another person or the police themselves. The criminal immediately is turned into Raggedy Ann when they refuse to either drop a weapon or driving their car at police in an attempt to run them over. The world is ALWAYS better off without these criminals.

hear about the latest police shooting?

Yes! I cant keep up those police are bust keeping us safe!!

by $lapaho April 29, 2021

landscape mode

(noun) - A smartphone video setting and standard by which all real life violence is captured, typically by bystanders that simply want to document the situation for their YouTube channel rather than diffuse it.

This is the opposite of picture mode.

- You see the brawl at Bath & Body Works in Scottsdale? Them womens is rowdy!!

- I was right there when it was about to jump off yo. That worker punched the customer! Haha

-So what did you do? Stop it?

- No way, I took out my phone and but it on landscape mode unlike those other amateurs.

- So they went to Bath & Body Works, and now their Back & Body hurts 🤣🤣🤣🤣

-

by $lapaho March 10, 2021

Hide-and-Seek Champion of the Free World

(person) - The Hide and Seek Champion of the Free World title indisputably belongs to President Joe Biden. While the distinction of World vs. Free World is important as Osama bin Laden is the champion of the ENTIRE world.

Hey is Biden still alive or does he have a body double carrying out duties like Sadam Hussain?

He is alive but not well. You will never again see him as he is not only a coward but Hide-and-Seek Champion of the Free World.

by $lapaho March 5, 2021

Tub-dub

(slang) - This term describes exchanging a $20 Harriet Tubman bill for a portion of crack valued at the same amount.

Due to the high intellect and education of the parties typically included in this financial transaction complex economic economic terms are typically employed.

Crackhead: I'm trying to unload my underground railroad shares and get into some Space X.

Dealer: What sort of position you looking to take?

Crackhead: A Tub-dub and we will reassess later

by $lapaho March 11, 2021

Vagmitized

When a formerly high-functioning and typically single heterosexual male develops the inability to fulfill ordinary life sustaining obligations due to inability to concentrate on anything other than the vagina of his latest recurring sexual encounter. He is literally under the spell of this particular vagina similar to the effects of scopolomine slipped into unsuspecting mens drinks in South American countries such as Colombia.

Note: Outcomes for this disorder are typically dismal however randomized studies have shown that married men do have a statistically lower relapse rates.

Friend 1 - Dude, you see Pete lately? Looks like he's on meth or something...

Friend 2 - He's been vagmitized by a stripper named Chastity. We are planning an intervention.

by $lapaho December 30, 2018

preferred pronoun

(noun) - Preferred pronouns are the pronouns of choice that the addresser chooses to label someone as. The receiver's opinion/choice has absolutely no bearing on the user's preference.

What's your preferred pronoun?

Glad you asked! it's it.

you want to be known as it?

No. No way. It is what I call anyone that is confused about their identity.

by $lapaho May 9, 2021

the guy that runs that outfit over there

(person) - This position was formerly known as the Secretary of Defense. He is is the head of the Department of Defense for the United States of America, however as President Biden cannot remember anyone's name this is what he is now called.

Note - search this phrase on YouTube for masterful oration.

I'd like to thank.....uh....the guy that runs that outfit over there..."

- President Joe Biden, 38/2021

by $lapaho March 9, 2021