swapping the monkey 

a feat of stealth used by thieves to successfully pilfer items atop a pressure plate.

wife speaking to her husband: why is this coffee so weak, were you fucking swapping the monkey with your cup in the coffee maker again? that's it! we're getting a divorce!

swapping the monkey by WordRepoMan January 15, 2013

freezing the monkey 

Having sex or sexual actions with a snowman, according to popular youtuber CaptainSauce

"Yeah, John's a huge creep. I heard he was freezing the monkey last time it snowed."

freezing the monkey by Zainium August 10, 2019

What the Monkey! 

“What the Monkey!” is an expression which can be applied to almost any situation. It is not a question, it is a statement. Something like "What the F'"but to avoid cursing. "What the Monkey" is an expression usually when you are describing some kind of accident or surprise that had happened but it's funny. Like you watch some Funny Home Video about a guy trying to make a dive in the pool but the board broke or a cows trying to chase after you and make love.

Mary: "Hey, Kevin passed out last night and they stuck a carrot in his nose and a Pineapple on his head. Then they took pictures"
Peter: "Hahaha...What the Monkey!"

Wes: "What the Monkey!! Who the heck threw my underwear on the chandelier?"

What the Monkey! by Bard777 August 2, 2011

The Mondays 

A day generally created for the purpose of making people wish they were someone else. The day you realize you have 4 days of work ahead of you and that they won't be going by fast at all. Symptoms generally include feeling like crap, wishing you were dead, or not showing up for work in general.

"Sounds like somebody's got a case of The Mondays." ~ Office Space

The Mondays by Kmetzman April 23, 2006

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays 

Something said by obnoxiously cheerfull bastards when someone is feeling tired and/or cranky. Mondays tend to be a horrible day since it's the first day of the working week. Made famous by the movie Office Space.

Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday, and you're not feelin' real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays"?
Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays by Blomjenny December 7, 2007

Fucked The Monkey 

To perform a slight error that unwittingly caused horrible, catastrophic level events

reference to: the widely-believed myth that AIDS began after someone fucked a monkey, caught the disease and then spread it through mankind.

A: "so I was writing a dirty email to my girl and accidentally sent it to my boss, her husband found it on her phone, thought she was cheating, and killed her and himself, now the company is folding and 400 people are without work and since this is a private hospital it's leaving 1000 patients without care....."

B: "dude, you fucked the monkey"

Fucked The Monkey by Dyrk Diggler April 1, 2011

wearing the monkey 

To wear an item of clothing that you have previously ejaculated into, e.g. a monkey sock.

Me:Dude I ran out of socks today and ended up wearing a monkey sock.
Friend: are you telling me you are wearing the monkey right now.... gross

wearing the monkey by felix844 July 2, 2012