a day we commemorate taking advantage of the "indians" by stealing their land, food, and lifestyles in exchange for cheap trinkets.

the one before christmas

Another excuse for Americans to spend an entire day eating

A Turkey's worst nightmare.

Only in America do have a Federal holiday to remember what we are thankful for, immediately followed by the largest shopping day of the year to max out our credit cards for the next holiday, Christmas.

A tradition started by the Indians to make the white folks get fat, so that when they get revenge and kill all of us in 2012, we'll be too fat and lazy to fight back.

A day that epitomizes how wonderful it is to be a gluttonous, fat, lazy American. A day to sit on stolen land eating food we may have never discovered and watch a sport that was copied from the very shores our ancestors so readily fled. Also conveniently situated on a Thursday, meaning most people end up with a 4-day weekend.