When some one tells the truth about something usually unbeleivable.
guy 1 - i just laid your mom

guy 2 - wtf!! seriously?

guy 1 - i shit you not my friend...
by Zael Yagami April 29, 2009
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to steal money from work, friends and family to support your drug problem, and then kill your family if you're close to getting caught as a diversionary tactic
"I shit you up, said Alec Murdaugh after grabbing paper towels to dry his tears, after admitting stealing money. I shit a lot of people up."
by Lady Virgo February 9, 2023
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A phrase typically, but not always, used in conversation; can also be used in response to a fact, or its opposite, in media; the appropriate response to any sentence including any variation of the descriptor 'bullshit', when the word 'shit' is being used as a verb, and the preceding perceived assertion or premise reflects a known truth or fact. Also used as its reverse as a prank, to generate belief in something patently false and normally unbelievable.
You: Idaho is a state in the USA? You're shitting me!

Them: I shit you not! It's a state!

You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.

Them: You're shitting me.

You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.
by Omniv0r March 10, 2022
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by March 15, 2021
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Expression showing condemnation of a persons actions, or an object's shortcomings. Denotes light-moderate annoyance.

Has nothing to do with the D12 song, but was rather propogated by certain immigrants to a rural, British university community.
1. "Are you eating with us?"
"No; I already ate."
"Yes? Well, shit on you!"

2. "What happened to your face?"
"The handlebars fell off my bike, and I nearly died."
"Yes? Shit on this/the bike!"

3. "The Inland Revenue are charging me a million pounds for a mistake they made."
"Shit on them."
by Diaji March 11, 2008
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Expression of resignation to the profound suckness of life.
Dad got canned the day before his pension would've kicked in. I tell ya, the shit you get for crap these days.
by Scorite June 14, 2006
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used to state that a story is 100% true, no matter now insane, silly, or crazy it sounds, "one cent" is the part stating that not even 1% of this story is fake
"i shit you not one cent, the tiger did a backflip" roger said to george
by Insert inside joke here July 13, 2022
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