Top Definition
A Muff Diver.
ie, someone who spends 80% of his life trying to get action, even off minging fat girls, whilst completely neglecting his friends.
Teacher: "Where's paddy?"
Boy: "He's over at margarets"
Teacher. "f*cking SCHWEFF!"
by Fr Gabby November 19, 2006
Guy who befriends attractive females he fancies but doesn't have the balls to ask them out.
Content to merely hang around them all the time. A sort of straight gal pal. His schweffing often alienates him from his male counterparts.
'Man, Is Paddy sitting beside Laura again today?'
'Yeah, That guy is such a schweff!'
by poy46 November 06, 2008
a boy who disregards his friends to get with a girl but never has the balls to do anything so they end up life long friends. and nothing more.

also known as a rech.
'where did you go last night, didnt see much of you'
'i stayed at a friends'
'did you stay over at sarah's?'
'yeh but nothing happened, but i walked across the room whilst she was on skype to her boyfriend'
'you massive schweff!!'
by Ben Moat September 26, 2009
A man who chooses ho's over bro's
did u see will treadwell last night walked off from us after some yats?

Fucking Schweff
by willIam@scweffwell May 08, 2010
Someone who always flirts with the girls, a proper schweff never gets any action though
BOY ONE "goldwait is the true king schweff of the school"

BOY TWO "yeah but sarge is a proper schweff, never gets any action"
by Malvern College!!!! May 19, 2009
A guy who spends loads of time with girls and ditches his mates to be with them, but never gets any pussy.
Schweff: Yeah, Katie and I are like best friends. I think she likes me!

Schweff's Friend: Look mate, she doesn't like you as in she wants to fuck you. She likes you because you are a schweff.
by silent_deadly123 October 05, 2011
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