A guy who spends loads of time with girls and ditches his mates to be with them, but never gets any pussy.
Schweff: Yeah, Katie and I are like best friends. I think she likes me!
Schweff's Friend: Look mate, she doesn't like you as in she wants to fuck you. She likes you because you are a schweff.
Schweff's Friend: Look mate, she doesn't like you as in she wants to fuck you. She likes you because you are a schweff.
by silent_deadly123 October 5, 2011
Somebody who tries to hit on girls, but only stays in the friendzone for ever, and ever, and ever ever. Basically a schweff is the personification of friendzone.
"Hey, did you stay over at Lara's last night?"
"Nah mate, nothing happened, I just walked her back to her ex boyfriend's house.."
"Aaa mate you're a massive schweff!!!"
"Nah mate, nothing happened, I just walked her back to her ex boyfriend's house.."
"Aaa mate you're a massive schweff!!!"
by StellaDrinkerNotts June 21, 2017
Sergeant Schweff refers to a specific type of schweff - one who not only attempts to chat up women but also men. This is not in a homosexual manner, it is merely to better his social situation and 'network'.
Guy 1: Why is Sam being so nice to Tim?
Guy 2: 'Cos he's Sergeant Schweff - he's trying to be his best friend
Guy 1: Ohhhhh.
Guy 2: 'Cos he's Sergeant Schweff - he's trying to be his best friend
Guy 1: Ohhhhh.
by Stodleh March 9, 2010
When you’re just seconds away from having sexual intercourse with someone and you walk out and never speak to them again
by Janner Giles March 23, 2022