A nonquest is a (normally sexual) conquest that never actually happened. Often referred to in the past tense, once you have entered the 'friendzone' with a person you thought you might have had a chance of sleeping with.
'I wish I'd slept with her whilst I had a chance - she's my greatest nonquest'
Man 1: You remember that girl that used to barmaid at the Ships Head?
Man 2: Yeah, she was fit - didn't you get it on with her?
Man 1: No, she was one of my nonquests.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!