the male: usually very thin, wearing a berghaus jacket, trakies tucked into socks, cheap(fake) lacoste trainers, hair that looks like it could land a plane, uaually stoned and drunk(oot der heed man) and would shag anything with a pulse as long as she is a nedette
the female: either very fat or very thin, face that has been plastered with a brand of foundation that has been produced from the tango factory, wearing very little clothes that show off the eight month old bump, wearing three or more fake gold rings on every finger, at least two 3" thick chains sportin someone elses name and usually found on the end of a male neds cock.
similarities: are usually found standing on random street corners drinking cheap alcohol called buckfast or md 20-20, every second word is fuck or some other random word that is intended to offened but no one knows what it means
look at dat big mad scary goff man, am gonnae chibb u ya baw, aye a fucked yer maw last night n she wis luvin it man
by kaz n kisp August 12, 2005
The word ned is believed to stand for non-educated delinquant. They are basically violent scottish youths and in some cases adults. They are known to wear berghaus or tracksuits, though just wearing the clothes does not make a ned as the violence and arrogance must be present. Neds are usually quite racist and hate anyone who looks different or is from another gang. Ned is basically a trend of violence like its english equivalent the chav. There is some conffusion about neds being another name for the working class, this is not true as class does not determine violence.
(person walks by neds while talking to his friends)

ned: oi you ya cunt

person: huh?

ned: you fuckin acting wide

person: what?

ned: whatch it or I'll smash you

(person walks away with friends)

ned: ya fukin boostin ya cunt

(the ned and his ned friends chase after them and assault them. They may possibly use knifes or another weapon, at the end person will be badly hurt. The person's belongings at the time will be stolen along with his friends belongings).
by this_guy March 25, 2006
For those of us who were not educated at kindergarten, a ned is a person between the ages of around 8 to 18 who speaks with an accent no-one but fellow neds can understand (often saying stuff like ken fit ye bam). Their clothing consists of brightly coloured fake tracksuits and puffa jackets – a warning for people to stay away, similar to the markings of a wasp. Most will sport a radiant tan – although the furthest they’ve been is to a young offenders’ institute.They’ve been Smoking anything from mud to oregano since they were 3 coz they think it’s hard. They to display this ‘hardness’ by constantly having a cigarette behind one ear, an earring in the other and using the middle finger approach at least 32 times a day. They like to wear a ton of gold jewelery; so high quality the gold rubs off. Hobbies of the bam include drinking, burning down buildings, starting fights and shouting abuse at people.
'im nae a ned ye feckin cunt'
by Colette February 21, 2004
Its a common word for the everyday thug of Glasgow. there are many types of ned.
Common ned,Goon Ned,Mad ned,Cheeky ned.
They are either totally respected or else totally hated.They normally go around in big crews or fleetos
Ned : Am gonnae get ma fleeto ontae you ya mad rocket.
Person : Ohno please dont.
Ned: aye well seeing yer feart noo!
**Person punches ned**
**Ned hacks person with a machette and then runs**
by Shawty_Kaz April 17, 2004
NED which contrary to popular belief does not come from Non Educated Delinquent but actually stems from the shortening of the common term "ne'er do well" ned means different things to different places. In England it is chav. Even in Scotland varies. Glasgow Neds have knives normally and if you are in an area with Neds roaming about you are pretty much dead. Edinburgh, too refined to have neds supposedly. but they are there. if you look in the right places. Dundee neds are usually annoying and speak in annoying lingo but tend to be around 14 years old with three children. called brogan, dale and chantelle-marie. Funnily enough the alpha male system of the animal kingdom is in reverse in the Ned System as the smallest and most ginger person is usually the leader. whatever he loses in being the smallest person, he gains from being the biggest shit.

MALE ATTIRE - kappa. lots

FEMALE ATTIRE - Anything that hurts the eyes.

you- (minding your own business)

ned- you talkin' about me??? eh? eh? eh? 'mon then? ya poof? eh? eh? eh? you gee'in us cheek? meh brither shot a lassie last week and e'll get yeh. you think em leh-in? then e'll smash yeh.

you - what?

ned - @£$*(*&*()(*&*(*&^*%$£$%^& (ned talk)

(An excerpt I had in an altercation with a ned because i "looked at him like he was a poof", to unnamed ned. if you are a poof, it is a life decision, and i accept that and i am not out to argue with that because i just don't mind. just make sure you tell chantelle-marie or whoever before you leave her for a toyboy so she can deal with the three children. but hey i will be paying for them anyway!)

(i'm not a snob, just can't quite see what i did to provoke him... i'm harmless really)
by i_is_tom September 20, 2007
a general wee prick who will pick fights with those who are differant when in large groups. when alone a ned will shit his trackies and run.
last week a wee ned whop started on me happened to get stuck in an elevator on his own the front of my new rocks are now permanantly broken thanks to his thick skull.

clean the streets kill a ned

join the a.a.n army against neds
by <---Azriel---> July 14, 2006
Neds are people who speak slang ,wear track suits, often lacoste. female neds: wear a foundaition a few times darker than there natural skintone resulting in an orange appearance.neds tend to wear a vast amount of common cheap gold jewellery. Neds r closely associated with chavs and bams.
neds can often be found loitering in parks under bridges or in other quiet and iscolated places drinking bucky/buckfast or cider and smoking. Neds often form gangs for there area they arrange fights with other gangs for no apparent reason. police hate neds and innocent people are often mistaken for neds , resulting in great hatred for the neds of glasgow and other areas.
ned1: awrite mate want tae go doon tae the shop the nite n gee sum bucky n that coz a heavey need a booze.
ned2: aye sound mate, want tae gee sum maddog n'all, gonnae be a pure buzz the nite.
ned1: aye mate am off tae meet ma burd catch'ye
by ned hater Gr July 07, 2005
a ned is a male teenager who
1. smokes
2. wears burberry cap
3. swears a lot
4. bullies people
5. always talks about sex and says that they have had it
6. wears lots of sports brand clothes
7. gets drunk every friday
8. says the love drugs and that they smoke weed
9. has a secret porn stash

Also see townie or chav.
Ben is a ned because he wears a burberry cap.
by scummy neds... June 20, 2004
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