They once thundered across the post-industrial Nordeast wasteland in great numbers, but gentrification and the closing of Sully's bar have severely curtailed their numbers in recent years.
Typified by the wearing of trucker caps, having of grimy beards, nicotine stained fingers, and less than optimal dental counts.
Northeast has a long and storied drinking tradition, but the beginning of the modern NED era can be traced to the closing of the Grain Belt Brewery in 1976.
Me, on bus:"Didn't that place close like 30 years ago? And isn't it now a library and condominium?"
NED:"They can make it a brewery again."
ME:"Well, good luck."
NED:"Spare anything for some Natural Ice?"
Viewer2: Yeah! It was cool!
used to be found solely in glasgow, but are now found beating up goths even in Cockburn Street ( a goth mecca in Edinburgh). Come into games workshop and break peoples models.
Males are usually found wearing Ned Tartan Caps (Burberry)and brightly coloured Shellsuits. Their habitat usually includes off-licenses that sell Buckfast (or a "Bottle of Whit the fuck ye gawking at, ya bawbag" as it is locally known) Their IQ is usually around five points short of a cannibis plant, which they smoke consistantly in a vain hope of increasing intelligence. They tend to hunt in packs or 10-20 and can be menancing to the rest of the general public - Although if you lamp the gobbiest wee shite amongst them and the pituitary retard (6'4" at 14 years old) then generally they run away making baboon noises and disappear into the undergrowth for a couple of hours. The male communicates with other males in grunts, farts and burps and simple phrases like "Gie's a swally o yer bucky man" and "check the airse on thon wee hairy" which are about the limit of speech their education allows.
The female of the species is defined by the wobble of lard which cocoons her body and this is only held in place by here over-stretched thong and too small bra. Most of the females will be pregnant before the age of sixteen unless the nedette is in Dundee when she will be pregnant by 13 years old. The females are like magpies in that they like things which are shiny and will marry their male ned for the price of a £19.99 ring from Elizabeth Duke's i...