Loosey whities

Briefs (or tighty whities) that have been worn so much that they have lost elasticity in the waistband and fabric.

You know it's time to throw out your tighty whities when they become loosey whities.

Fun ways to dispose of loosey whities:

throw them over a fence and into someone's pool or jacuzzi;

leave them in someone's glove compartment;

put them in someone's desk at work or school;

throw them onto a powerline;

hang them from a tree branch or bush;

stuff them into someone's pillow case;

put them between the pages of a library book on a shelf;

superglue them onto a mirror in a public washroom;

hoist them onto a flagpole;

staple them onto a co-worker's cork board;

tape them onto a blackboard;

sneak them into an enemy's lunchbox;

place them into someone's shoes;

put them into someone's backpack when they're not looking;

tape them onto someone's locker;

stuff them into the keyhole of a lock so that the victim will have a hard time opening it;

clog a public toilet, sink, or water fountain with them;

leave them on a supermarket shelf;

shove them into someone's water bottle, thermos, or watercooler;

sneak them into a slurpee machine;

put them into someone's mailbox;

place them on top of someone's head while they're sleeping;

hang them from someone's car antenna or side mirror;

leave them in the middle of a hallway;

put them into someone's ipod or cellphone case;

deposit them in a post box;

clog an ATM's credit card intake with them;

leave them in the fridge or freezer of a stranger;

leave them under some watermelons at the grocery store;

stuff them into someone's cd player or dvd player;

donate them to goodwill.

by Undies Expert April 10, 2009