I think the guy in stall 2 just had a massive criticality excursion, we need to evacuate the bathroom asap.
by The Sim March 25, 2011
The biggest, SUV on the road. Optional 5.4 L V-8 (standard), 6.8 L V-10 (ricer killer), or 6.0 L/7.3 L Powerstroke V-8 Diesel (powerhouse). They are usually found being meandered around by a soccer mom or a redneck, weigh nearly 8000 pounds, use a runway to stop, handle like trucks, and chug down gas. However, when used properly, they justify these characteristics.
The Pilot: In the hands of a soccer mom, they can, and do, pancake Prii (Priuses). In the hands of a redneck, they can be seen being used in a reckless and stupid fashion. However, in the hands of a capable driver, they can be very safe and don't typically run into anything.
Maneuverability: They're big. They need space. If you know what you're doing, you can move them into and out of the most cramped parking spaces.
Weight: They're big. They weigh a lot, there is no way out of this one.
Long Stop: Factors like brake, tire, and road conditions play critical roles. If the driver is observant though, they can usually stop in time or maneuver around the obstacle.
Handling: The F-250 truck frame is responsible.
MPG: Dismal, but they are amazing people movers. When loaded to capacity (8 people), their 15 MPG are justified. BONUS: Plenty of power. It goes in the snow too.
All in all, they only become viable when you need to move people in a climate that can be less than favorable, or if you need an SUV that can do the job of an F-250 (i.e.tow a trailer). Small wonder they are no longer made.
The Pilot: In the hands of a soccer mom, they can, and do, pancake Prii (Priuses). In the hands of a redneck, they can be seen being used in a reckless and stupid fashion. However, in the hands of a capable driver, they can be very safe and don't typically run into anything.
Maneuverability: They're big. They need space. If you know what you're doing, you can move them into and out of the most cramped parking spaces.
Weight: They're big. They weigh a lot, there is no way out of this one.
Long Stop: Factors like brake, tire, and road conditions play critical roles. If the driver is observant though, they can usually stop in time or maneuver around the obstacle.
Handling: The F-250 truck frame is responsible.
MPG: Dismal, but they are amazing people movers. When loaded to capacity (8 people), their 15 MPG are justified. BONUS: Plenty of power. It goes in the snow too.
All in all, they only become viable when you need to move people in a climate that can be less than favorable, or if you need an SUV that can do the job of an F-250 (i.e.tow a trailer). Small wonder they are no longer made.
Walking down the street.
Guy 1: Is that a tank coming down the sidewalk?
Guy 2: NO! It's a soccer mom in a Ford Excursion! Run for your life!
Guy 1: Damn, that thing's big.
Phone call between work buddies:
Worker 1: You gonna come to work?
Worker 2: Nah, there's a foot of snow on the ground, my Suburban won't make it.
Worker 1: You're not gonna slack off this time, I'm gonna come pick you up in the Excursion.
Worker 2: I thought you used that to tow your RV?
Worker 1: I do. My Expedition won't make in the snow either.
Worker 2: Do I have to come to work?
Worker 1: Yes!
In a V-10 Excursion when confronted by a ricer at a light:
Ricer: *Fart can Revs
Driver: If I ignore him, he'll go away.
*Ricer guns it, goes weedeating down the street.
*Excursion does a sensible, controlled acceleration, but doesn't keep up with the ricer, as he's not racing.
Ricer: I win.
Driver: We weren't racing.
Ricer: You just say that 'cause you lost. *Fart Rev
Driver: It's game time. *Screaming V-10 Rev (Pure unadulterated awesome)
*Light change
*Ricer guns it, goes weedeating down the street.
*Excursion guns it, goes powering down the street.
*Excursion overtakes ricer with the aid of 310 hp (if racing a ricer that does meaningful mods, about the same) and 425 lb·ft of torque (probably five times more) despite the fact that it's at least four and a half times heavier.
*Ricer resorts to a ricer flyby.
Moral of the story: Ricers suck, torque wins races.
Guy 1: Is that a tank coming down the sidewalk?
Guy 2: NO! It's a soccer mom in a Ford Excursion! Run for your life!
Guy 1: Damn, that thing's big.
Phone call between work buddies:
Worker 1: You gonna come to work?
Worker 2: Nah, there's a foot of snow on the ground, my Suburban won't make it.
Worker 1: You're not gonna slack off this time, I'm gonna come pick you up in the Excursion.
Worker 2: I thought you used that to tow your RV?
Worker 1: I do. My Expedition won't make in the snow either.
Worker 2: Do I have to come to work?
Worker 1: Yes!
In a V-10 Excursion when confronted by a ricer at a light:
Ricer: *Fart can Revs
Driver: If I ignore him, he'll go away.
*Ricer guns it, goes weedeating down the street.
*Excursion does a sensible, controlled acceleration, but doesn't keep up with the ricer, as he's not racing.
Ricer: I win.
Driver: We weren't racing.
Ricer: You just say that 'cause you lost. *Fart Rev
Driver: It's game time. *Screaming V-10 Rev (Pure unadulterated awesome)
*Light change
*Ricer guns it, goes weedeating down the street.
*Excursion guns it, goes powering down the street.
*Excursion overtakes ricer with the aid of 310 hp (if racing a ricer that does meaningful mods, about the same) and 425 lb·ft of torque (probably five times more) despite the fact that it's at least four and a half times heavier.
*Ricer resorts to a ricer flyby.
Moral of the story: Ricers suck, torque wins races.
by kbizz42 June 26, 2011
a streetwear brand out of san jose, ca. they also have an online radio show every monday nights at 6 PST. "breezy radio"
by cuuuucaaaaa November 3, 2008
by j caviston April 14, 2008
An awesome super large SUV made by Ford from 2000-2005. The SUV for the hard-core soccer-mom. Was designed like a Super Duty truck and was intended for rural or commercial use. But it got popular with suzy-homemakers instead. It's cons outweighed it's pros (poor fuel mileage, not being able to fit in suburban garages, etc) so Ford quit making them. Driving this SUV screams a big "fuck you" to all the liberal Prius drivers out there.
Son: Hey Mom, I think you hit that Prius on the way home from Soccer practice!!
Mom: That was just a speed bump, honey...
Son: Then why is there a Door stuck in the grill!!
Mom: Oh crap...not again!! We have to get rid of that Ford Excursion.
Mom: That was just a speed bump, honey...
Son: Then why is there a Door stuck in the grill!!
Mom: Oh crap...not again!! We have to get rid of that Ford Excursion.
by Metalhead83 August 24, 2011
by Milk my tit December 15, 2015
Those who encounter him are rendered deaf and speechless within seconds. Often asks very intrusive personal questions within moments of beginning the coversation. Speaks at 120 decibels, even when you're 5 feet away. Creature to be avoided at all costs, especially when looking AutoTrader magazine. Lisps constantly.
"YOU got a EXCURSHUN?!?"
by BobbyBill$ November 30, 2004