2 definitions by kbizz42

Top Definition
The biggest, SUV on the road. Optional 5.4 L V-8 (standard), 6.8 L V-10 (ricer killer), or 6.0 L/7.3 L Powerstroke V-8 Diesel (powerhouse). They are usually found being meandered around by a soccer mom or a redneck, weigh nearly 8000 pounds, use a runway to stop, handle like trucks, and chug down gas. However, when used properly, they justify these characteristics.

The Pilot: In the hands of a soccer mom, they can, and do, pancake Prii (Priuses). In the hands of a redneck, they can be seen being used in a reckless and stupid fashion. However, in the hands of a capable driver, they can be very safe and don't typically run into anything.

Maneuverability: They're big. They need space. If you know what you're doing, you can move them into and out of the most cramped parking spaces.

Weight: They're big. They weigh a lot, there is no way out of this one.

Long Stop: Factors like brake, tire, and road conditions play critical roles. If the driver is observant though, they can usually stop in time or maneuver around the obstacle.

Handling: The F-250 truck frame is responsible.

MPG: Dismal, but they are amazing people movers. When loaded to capacity (8 people), their 15 MPG are justified. BONUS: Plenty of power. It goes in the snow too.

All in all, they only become viable when you need to move people in a climate that can be less than favorable, or if you need an SUV that can do the job of an F-250 (i.e.tow a trailer). Small wonder they are no longer made.
Walking down the street.
Guy 1: Is that a tank coming down the sidewalk?

Guy 2: NO! It's a soccer mom in a Ford Excursion! Run for your life!

Guy 1: Damn, that thing's big.

Phone call between work buddies:
Worker 1: You gonna come to work?

Worker 2: Nah, there's a foot of snow on the ground, my Suburban won't make it.

Worker 1: You're not gonna slack off this time, I'm gonna come pick you up in the Excursion.

Worker 2: I thought you used that to tow your RV?

Worker 1: I do. My Expedition won't make in the snow either.

Worker 2: Do I have to come to work?

Worker 1: Yes!

In a V-10 Excursion when confronted by a ricer at a light:

Ricer: *Fart can Revs

Driver: If I ignore him, he'll go away.

*Ricer guns it, goes weedeating down the street.

*Excursion does a sensible, controlled acceleration, but doesn't keep up with the ricer, as he's not racing.

Ricer: I win.

Driver: We weren't racing.

Ricer: You just say that 'cause you lost. *Fart Rev

Driver: It's game time. *Screaming V-10 Rev (Pure unadulterated awesome)

*Light change

*Ricer guns it, goes weedeating down the street.

*Excursion guns it, goes powering down the street.

*Excursion overtakes ricer with the aid of 310 hp (if racing a ricer that does meaningful mods, about the same) and 425 lb·ft of torque (probably five times more) despite the fact that it's at least four and a half times heavier.

*Ricer resorts to a ricer flyby.

Moral of the story: Ricers suck, torque wins races.
by kbizz42 June 25, 2011
These are the people on Facebook who like to bitch about poverty, war, domestic violence, child abuse, rape, bank robberies, starving children in Africa, liberals/conservatives, Democrats/Republicans, alcohol, drugs, pedophiles, computer hackers, the drug dealer next door, pornography, music, Devil-worshipers, endangered animals, racist jokes, holocaust jokes, religion jokes, political (in)correctness, religion (or lack thereof), animal rights, oppressive work conditions, sexual harassment, or how much their life sucks.

Like most idealists, Facebook Idealists hardly, if ever, lift a finger to combat the perceived evils in the world. They complain because they can't be bothered with finding, or lack the intellectual capacity to find real world solutions to humanities, or even their own, problems. In essence, they're whiny little idiots.
Guy 1: Look at this chick on Facebook saying "I wish solders didnt have to goes to warz, and that AIDS wasnt real!!!!! :(:(:(:("

Girl 1: Wow what a Facebook Idealist.

Guy 2: We all know one

Girl 2: And hate one.
by kbizz42 June 30, 2011
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