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8.
A person capable of making things work in unfathomable and near-magical ways. Generally possesses extreme levels of mechanical aptitude plus a formal education including large doses of applied math, physics and chemistry which he actually understands. Can perform calculations without using a calculator. Often builds his own mechanical devices from loose parts for self-amusement. A modern day witch. Often has difficulty relating to people because ideas on new and better ways of doing things are constantly flooding into his/her mind. In many cases just bringing an engineer into a room containing broken equipment causes the equipment to start working again.

One day an engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine. God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says LOL where are you going to get a lawyer and hangs up.

by Gunder January 26, 2007
 
9.
One who lives by the motto "If it ain't broke, take it apart and find out why".
What's the difference between an engineer and a scientist? When engineers are wrong they get sued.
by Sigma Eta Aero April 10, 2007
 
10.
Typically an individual:
-with 180+ IQ
-drinks a lot
-low GPA

Classical Engineering includes:
-Electrical
-Chemical
-Mechanical
-Civil

Canadian engineers wear the iron ring on the pinky of their working hand.
My iron ring cost me $25+$57,000 of student debt.
by mr. engineer April 18, 2005
 
11.
Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
You: "Hey, wait here, I'mma go take a dump."

Friend: "Alright."

*5 minutes later*

Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."

You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"

Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
by Israelhands09 September 16, 2010
 
12.
ERTFW.... There are three things thing this world that you need duct tape, WD-40 and Beer. Duct tape for things that move and aren't supposed to. WD-40 for things that don't move and are supposed to. And Beer for if it doesn't fit into the first two categories.
So your an engineer? Wanna fuck.
by danny ebi October 27, 2004
 
13.
A superior person
"we are, we are, we are, we are, we are the engineers. We can, we can, we can, we can demolish forty beers. Drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, drink rum, now come along with us. For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn about us.

Those money grubbing commie fucks are going straight to hell. And all those puny artsci' shits will work at Taco-Bell. So kiss my ass and fill my glass, it's only beer eleven. We live at Clark, we've made our mark, we're Sci'o'fucking seven!!!!!!!!
by C October 19, 2003
 
14.
Person with extreme mathematical, scientific and technological knowledge. Often beleive that they have "real" lives, which usually do not extend much further than endless plot dicussion with fellow engineers about movies such as "The Matrix" (C)...
They usually tend to have extreme problems when attempting to communicate with the opposite sex.
Doctor: Your son has the knack ma'am
Mother: The knack?
Doctor: The knack, the supreme understanding of all things electrical and mechanical, along with other social ineptitude...
Mother: Will he ever live a normal life?
Doctor: No, he will be an Engineer
Mother: //Breaks down crying
by pro-nun-see-A-shun September 18, 2003