Drinks their way through college for at least four years, playing computer games, smoking pot, masturbating and never having sex, ever. Learns the theory for incredibly complex subjects within one relatively sober week of the exams. Studies one particular subject in another sober week to get a really fancy sounding job that is 1% challenging and 99% telling a technician to press the reset button. Makes a lot of money for doing that and then, of course, starts having a lot of sex.

Gets really annoyed if people don't optimize space utilization when filling a dishwasher.

Knows what every single cable behind your TV is for.

Has a hammer, duct tape, and cable ties close at all times, but is not necessarily a serial killer. Although engineers make great serial killers.
Interviewer: So what do you know about spectroscopic ellipsometry?
Engineer: Spectroscopic ellipsometry employs broad band light sources, which"..... *15 minutes later*.... and thus the film properties are characterized.
Boss: Welcome to the team, you'll be looking after all these machines
Engineer: I look forward to the challenge
Technician: Hey this machine is messed up
Engineer: Press the reset button
Technician: OK it's working now
Engineer: Sweet *Returns feet to desk*
by Barsemaster February 27, 2012
someone who's a pro at math and science, plays the guitar very well, and knows how to solve practical problems.
Hey, look buddy. I'm an engineer. That means I solve problems.

Erecting a dispenser!
by spahsappinmahsentry January 23, 2011
Engineers make things work, even if they don't know much about it.
Da Vinci was the first scientist to study materials. Think of all the grand engineering from before that time.
by AMax October 26, 2007
A profession which has designed and developed everything from cars and planes to computers and cell phones to buildings. Often confused today with mechanics, technicians, and train drivers. Without them it would be back to the caves. They deserve respect.
The design of the Burj Khalifa tower required top of the line structural engineers.
by Allegius March 31, 2012
Someone who relates to the universe in a mathematical but socially inept way.
Someone who relates to the universe in a mathematical but socially inept way.
Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
by destillat July 05, 2006
Individuals who seek solutions to their problems, yet create the very problems they seek to solve.
You know you're an engineer if you can prove you have no life mathematically.
by An Engineer January 27, 2013
One measures with a micrometer, marks with a crayon, and cuts with an axe.
The guy wearing the white shirt with the pocket protector leaning against the backhoe is an engineer. He could describe in great detail how that backhoe works but could not drive it to save his life.
by Tom Stillin November 19, 2012

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