consternation 

shocked dismay: a feeling of alarm, confusion, or dismay, often caused by something unexpected

The news caused worldwide consternation and a panic on the stock exchange.

consternation by Oyat April 25, 2006

Crysterbation 

Crying whist masturbating.

Mike was so upset that his girlfriend cheated on him that he spent the entire night crysterbating while listening to The Cure.

Larry is really into crysterbation, especially since his wife left him.

Crysterbation by Jizzonneh December 12, 2007

Constervation 

Constervation is 50% Conversation and 50% Consternation.

An encounter between two people where one has been an incredible dumb ass and needs told about it.

The Conversation part is monologue and delivered by the individual explaining it to the dumb ass.

The Consternation part is when you, "The Dumb Ass" (silent donkey is also acceptable) realize that what the individual delivering the monologue is explaining to your dumb ass is completely correct.

I had to have this constervation with you because of your failure to realize not just how badly you screwed the pooch but that you didn't realize it at all, dumb ass!

epiphany doh well shit had to be done dumb ass helpful hint buy a clue

Constervation by CTBear July 5, 2014

Consterbation 

A person who conserves energy while masturbating so he or she can masturbate more later.

David focused on his consterbation carefully, anticipating many future masturbatory emissions in his not so distant future.

Consterbation by Squirrelywolf October 10, 2018

crasterbation 

Jerking off with your own tears. Made popular by the movie "Waiting"

"...like that time you beat off using your own tears as lubricant(crasterbation)?"
"That was only once, and I was drunk."

crasterbation by Jorpy12 June 19, 2006

crasterbation 

Crying and masturbating at the same time.

Distraut after the biznitch dumped me, I hopped on the internet for some crasturbation

crasterbation by Anonymous November 7, 2003

consterbating 

The act of or fulfilling one's own desire to forcefully withdrawal a brown dragon while playfully caressing the penile shaft.

Anthony: So, you think John's consterbating in there??
Dustin: Smells like it.
Anthony: Well, it can't be too painful, he's got a porn mag in his hand.

consterbating by John's mother April 2, 2007