Mortal Celery State 

1. A state of physical health in which the very act of wiping sweat from one's brow produces more sweat than was originally present.

2. When medical attention must seek you.

Did you hear about Bryan Palpers? He's entered the Mortal Celery State!

Mortal Celery State by chonboi January 21, 2009

False Celery 

A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, the False Celery is when a man digs a hole in the ground, covers himself with dirt and paints his column green during the harvest time.

As it is written by the ancients, "the False Celery shall align with a chill wind as surely as Polaris guides the wayward traveller north."

False Celery by boatbutter August 22, 2006

celery generals 

A Tom Green-derived game that requires two people to each have their own celery general (a celery torso, celery arms, celery legs, and a cherry tomato head) and to place them on their own lane of a two lane highway. If one's celery general gets run over by a car, their opponent has to eat the flattened celery general; salad dressing is optional.

No, Jeffrey, you have to eat the celery generals off of the road. Don't even bother bringing paper plates next time.

celery generals by Shov June 19, 2008

celeron 

The perfect, literal example of a piece of shit. This is the absolute worst computer component ever conceived by the hands of man. Sure, it LOOKS good with 2.4-2.7 Gigaherz of speed, but its insanely small L1 and L2 cache, not to mention the INCREDIBLY slow FSB, Celerons are useless. There is lag time for even the most little of tasks. Even though Celerons are made for people who are not computer-savvy and who just like to email and surf the web and do Microsoft Word and stuff, they aren't even good at doing that! Fuck Intel for making it.

Leroy: "Hey, I want a cheap computer. I'm thinking of getting a Celeron processor."

Hugh: "I've had one for 2 1/2 years so far. I've been saving up for a while to get a REAL computer. Trust me, opening FireFox gives me 100% CPU usage and incredible lag time. "More than one application running at a time with ease"? HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Yeah, switching between Windows Media Player 11 and FireFox gives me (again) 100% CPU usage and lag. Want to play games? Well, fuck. That's too bad for you. It can't handle StarCraft (8 years old), WoW, or even Call of Duty. "Counter-Strike Source"? Oh, my God. You can play CSS.... if you like 9 frames per second on EVERY FUCKING LEVEL."

Leroy: "Damn... I'd be better off with a Pentium 2"

Hugh: "From now on, don't ever mention Intel products to me.... ever. Just go with AMD."

celeron by LOL, Internet August 17, 2006

celeron 

Quite possibly the worst processors Intel has ever manufactured. It was designed for the sole purpose of creating a processor that didn't cost much. Well whooptideefuck, Intel! Your piece of shit Celeron is so unbelievably slow, any machine that has one in it is instantly branded a piece of garbage, because the very real reality is that Celerons can't power ANY machine, no matter how powerful it is.

Anyone with a Celeron in their computer clearly has no idea what they are doing.

celeron by Lament For The Last Days June 11, 2006

Celery Stalker 

A person or hacker who spies on someone through their cell phone.

Yeah my phone has been acting weird, I think that guy I went on a date with might be a celery stalker.

Celery Stalker by Ranchgirls December 8, 2020

Celery Roping

Celery roping refers to a powerful and voluminous manner of ejaculation. Typified and first coined by male porn star Peter North who suggested adding celery to the diet in order to produce a more powerful ejaculation. Roping itself refer to the individual strings, or ropes, of ejaculate that occur on orgasm.

Damn, did she top Vince up?
Yeh, yeh. Vince outchea celery roping she topped him up so good.

Celery Roping by lol_vince_lol June 29, 2021