A person of the male persuasion who is prone to making promises and commitments he is constitutionally incapable of fulfilling. Upon realizing his incompetency, he acts as if nothing ever happened and labels himself "ASSBAG", mainly in an effort to make people laugh. What this "ASSBAG" (a.k.a. Tony B.) fails to recognize is naming himself assbag is probably the first truthful statement he's made in the situation he created.
ASSBAG: moves girlfriend 3000 miles to be with him, making promises of a family and marriage..a week after girlfriend has been home, ASSBAG has a moment of clarity and, to protect "girlfriend" from having her feelings hurt down the road, breaks up with her..but not before they've had sex, of course...
Girlfriend continues living with ASSBAG, having no other option at that point. Of course, human nature interferes, and the two continue sharing a bed and have sex a few more times.
Lo and behold, ASSBAG and ex-girlfriend are now expecting a child together...
The best part: ASSBAG pretends like nothing has ever happened, still...aside from a few text messages immediately following the news of the pregnancy, ASSBAG hasn't mentioned ONE WORD about their living situation or their baby....
by THE EX GF August 11, 2011
Top Definition
a complete asshole. someone who sucks really really bad and doesnt give 2 shits about other people
That kid who just cut me off is a complete assbag
by Paul April 03, 2003
Same thing as a douche bag. A bastard that deserves a dirty ass whipping. A person that is one massive bag of dirty ass.
Dude Tony is such a dirty ass bag.
by Leebuck2 April 14, 2003
1. slang word for someone who represents that of a colostomy bag (derived from being full of s**t).

2. a**hole
Because of his choice to leave the drowning baby in the lake though physically able to have saved it, the man was a renowned assbag.
by tr0n December 31, 2003
What you call an asshole that is being more than an asshole.
Dude, you're bein an assbag...
by Swami0586 August 01, 2005
The epitome of all asses; a derogatoy word (noun) typically utilized in defiling a particular species of homosapien expressing excessive abnormal behavior.
Hey assbag, get the hell off of the road!
Your mother sucks assbags in hell!
by Chris McK February 27, 2006
A couple of friends and I were trying to think of a way to properly describe a guy who was such a jerk. We couldn't decide if he was an asshole or a douchebag. Thus became, Assbag!
He is being such an Assbag!
by melia433 June 12, 2008
Fan-modified catchphrase of Zeddicus Zu'l Zorander of Legend of the Seeker/Sword of Truth. Applies to any situation.
Save Our Seeker you assbags!
by visionhale May 24, 2010
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