ass lap 

An ass lap is when a girl has an ass so big that it creates a make-shift lap in the back which can be used as a shelf, or a inconvenient place for a cat to take a nap.

Hey, I set my beer down for a second and now it's gone. Did you see where it went?" "Yeah man, it's over there, you set it on Amanda's ass lap and she walked away." "Oh shit man, my bad.

ass lap by SameoldJake July 24, 2010

ass lapper 

To go beyond kissing ass is to become an ass lapper. When one places the entire tongue deep within the crack to gain extra benefits as if they were turd thirsty or trying to seperate the corn from the shit

Ronnie is such an ass lapper that the Lt. thinks his tongue is a wash cloth

ass lapper by Doug Lpd August 17, 2006

fat-ass laptop 

When a glutenous, perhaps corpulent gentile takes a box of pizza, sets it upon his thick, sweaty thighs, and opens it as if a laptop and proceeds to scarf down the whole thing

Lou: yeah i saw this hideously obese guy sitting in the food court shoveling pizza in his face from his fat-ass laptop. His family looked pretty embarrassed.

Manny: eww wtf.

fat-ass laptop by wogface May 16, 2008