retard apostrophes 

When people use ` instead of '. Very annoying because the correct quotes/apostrophe key can be easily found next to the fucking Enter key.

Jane: "don`t hesitate to IM me. i <3 random IM`s. my sn is a tokyo PRiNCESS. don`t ask about the tokyo thing. as you can so obviously tell, i`m not asian."

retard apostrophes by Nigga November 20, 2004

apostrophe crime 

What you say when you see one of the most heinous crimes against the english language known to man. It's when an apostrophe is put in a plural noun (WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG!), therefore indicating that the noun somehow owns something...

sign: BOOK'S FOR SALE!
my smart friend: SHEILD YOUR EYES! APOSTROPHE CRIME!
me: *smacks forehead* So... that book owns a for sale? That's interesting... MY GOD PEOPLE WHEN WILL YOU LEARN!?!?

apostrophe crime by brittandherllama January 11, 2006

grocer's apostrophe 

A punctuation mark used to create a plural by grocers on blackboards, despite being unnecessary for the rest of the population.

Apple's 70p per pound

Special offer on raspberrie's and and banana's

The grocer's apostrophe can be also be used in other situation's by tho'se who don't know any better

grocer's apostrophe by da grammar police June 4, 2010

alien apostrophe 

the use of an apostrophe in the naming of aliens in science fiction. Extremely prevalent in turning a common name into an alien-esque name.

Author: "hmm. I need a name for this alien in my book"

Friend: "How about... Jon?"

Author: "No. I will use J'on!"

Friend: "Ah, the use of the alien apostrophe, like Kal'el, Jor'el, Teal'c, Bra'tac, D'on...

alien apostrophe by srav May 3, 2009

apostrophitis 

the epidemic tendency to insert apostrophes where they do not belong

Eric has a bad case of apostrophitis- he keeps writing things like, "GREAT DEAL'S ON EVERYTHING" and "Available in 12 color's" and "He gave it back to it's owner".

apostrophitis by bethidee April 13, 2008

Fantasy Apostrophe 

The needless insertion of a silent apostrophe into a place, race or character name in a work of fantasy fiction. The fantasy apostrophe is intended to give mystique and gravitas to an otherwise stupid sounding made-up name. However, it is not always successful in this regard.

See also: Heavy Metal Umlaut

Tom - What you reading, Geoff?
Geoff - I've just started the G'dorf Trilogy
Tom - Any good?
Geoff - Well, there's this dude called Kar'El, a J'olara trader from the Ava'pia region. He's got to get an amazing S'word which will kill all his enemies, the Z'Goff.
Tom - Fantasy Apostrophe overload?
Geoff - Lucky I didn't mention the B'Z'or'ef

Fantasy Apostrophe by tomh2 December 1, 2010

Apostrophe 

Particularly useful piece of English punctuation for making yourself look stupid. You can do this in three main ways:
1. Putting an apostrophe in when it's completely unnecessary.
2. Leaving it out when it's needed.
3. Putting it in the wrong place.

1. My parent's have taken control of my life.
2. Mat was Daisys hero, til he started ignoring her.
3. I do'nt know how to use an apostrophe.

Apostrophe by NH3 December 18, 2007