Top Definition
A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.
When Stu first saw Farrah Fawcett's poster, he grew a zelch.

I was awakened in the middle of the night by a painful Zelch
by Guntherthepriest June 29, 2009

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

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The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt
A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.
When Chad saw Paul P. in the cafeteria, he had an instant zelch.
by billsfan2 August 27, 2010

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Your favorite word on a white mug.

Create a mug

The Urban Dictionary Mug

One side has the word, one side has the definition. Microwave and dishwasher safe. Lotsa space for your liquids.

Buy the mug

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Soft and offensive. Just like you.

Buy the t-shirt

The Urban Dictionary T-Shirt

Smooth, soft, slim fit American Apparel shirt. Custom printed. 100% fine jersey cotton, except for heather grey (90% cotton).

Buy the t-shirt