A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.
When Stu first saw Farrah Fawcett's poster, he grew a zelch.

I was awakened in the middle of the night by a painful Zelch
by Guntherthepriest June 29, 2009
A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.
When Chad saw Paul P. in the cafeteria, he had an instant zelch.
by billsfan2 August 27, 2010

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