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2 definitions by Guntherthepriest

 
1.
A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.
When Stu first saw Farrah Fawcett's poster, he grew a zelch.

I was awakened in the middle of the night by a painful Zelch
by Guntherthepriest June 29, 2009
 
2.
Having gunnaria, cyphilis, herpes, and aids at the same time.
Guy 1: Dude I really wanna fuck Jenny at the party tonight
Guy 2: Are you sure? After she got through Cole I heard she caught gunnacyphaherpalaids.
by Guntherthepriest February 20, 2009