by MichaelR August 7, 2006
Microsoft's suicide attempt, after years of grueling research Microsoft's top engineers determined that combining extremely expensive OS prices, too many damn versions with all except ultimate being crippled in some way, shitty compatibility, an OS with a "pretty GUI" resulting in a resource black hole which in turn cost people more money to upgrade only to discover that despite upgrading to the largest amount of memory and most expensive Processor, that due to it's being modeled on black hole physics their computers are no faster than before, they also made sure to make it difficult to use and find things, included a user agony and cruelty infliction system(commonly known as UAC), and decided that to truly piss off admins that even when running as administrator you aren't truly administrator.
Microsoft Engineer1: The tests results from the beta testers for vista are in: anger, frustration, and incidences of user on computer violence are up 300%.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.
Microsoft Engineer2: wow that's better than predicted.
Microsoft Engineer1: Yeah, and even better 50% of the test subjects committed suicide after a month of using it, another 19% went insane within one month, and another 30% switched to another OS or stopped using computers completely after a month.
Microsoft Engineer2: What about the remaining 1%?
Microsoft Engineer1: That is made up entirely of masochists.
Microsoft Engineer2: Ok then we are good for release, if this doesn't kill us nothing will.
Microsoft Engineers1: With our expertise there is no way this can fail.....unless of course the majority of the population suddenly starts getting off on self inflicted pain.
by Former Microsoft Fanboy August 16, 2008
by cschermes April 23, 2009
Vista is a funny, thick, pretty & caring person. She might be a annoying but if you get to know her well you’ll see she’s great. Vista’s will treat her boyfriend with respect and love. If you ever meet a Vista, hold on to her and don’t let go.
Person 1- Do you have a friend like Vista?
Person 2- No, i wish.
Person 1- You should find one.
Person 2-Thats gonna be really hard, but i’ll try.
Person 2- No, i wish.
Person 1- You should find one.
Person 2-Thats gonna be really hard, but i’ll try.
by Joseph Cole May 26, 2018
Surpassing XP, Vista will be the world's largest and most powerful computer virus. It's Codename is Longhorn, and it is manufactured by the Beast of Redmond aka Microsoft. It will try to lure people in to buying the overly priced piece of shit by stealing transparancy ideas from Mac OSX and making secure command lines similar to Linux. It will only work with certain "security enabled" monitors, so most home users will have to upgrade (again) and some notebook users will be fucked. I have a AMD 64 3200+ with 2 gigs of ram and an 80 gb HDD and I am still running Win2k, although Debian is my main weapon of choice. Vista is already undergoing numerous trademark lawsuits, and it will be replacing NTFS with WinFS, which means support for the FAT's may decline.
late 2006/ early 2007
Me: What's that cd you haave there?
noob: Windows Vista.
Me: What is your primary computer use?
noob: h4xorng!!!!!!!!!!! and web surfing. t3h 1337.
Me: *breaks CD*. You will be fine with this. *Hands him win3.11 cd.
noob: N0!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: What's that cd you haave there?
noob: Windows Vista.
Me: What is your primary computer use?
noob: h4xorng!!!!!!!!!!! and web surfing. t3h 1337.
Me: *breaks CD*. You will be fine with this. *Hands him win3.11 cd.
noob: N0!!!!!!!!!!!
by DavidLeeRoth July 29, 2005
Microsoft's newest operating system that has strikingly familiar speeds, quirks, and errors to Windows ME. Rumored to be the fastest and most aesthetically pleasing Windows OS yet but proof of these claims have rarely been seen by users. Mostly, an advertising scheme between Microsoft and computer hardware manufacturers to get you to purchase the newest and most expensive components on the market.
example 1:
We are Microsoft.
You and your data will be assimilated into Windows Vista and merged with the non-backwards compatible collective.
Resistance is futile.
Example 2:
MacOS X: Vista Aero... i am your father.
Vista Aero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY AERO ENGINE IS COMPLETELY ORIGINAL! AUTHENTIC, ENERGETIC, REFLECTIVE AND OPEN! REMEMBER?!
MacOS X: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.
Yeah, i use Ubuntu Linux and i'm a nerd... so fucking what?
We are Microsoft.
You and your data will be assimilated into Windows Vista and merged with the non-backwards compatible collective.
Resistance is futile.
Example 2:
MacOS X: Vista Aero... i am your father.
Vista Aero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY AERO ENGINE IS COMPLETELY ORIGINAL! AUTHENTIC, ENERGETIC, REFLECTIVE AND OPEN! REMEMBER?!
MacOS X: Search your feelings... you know it to be true.
Yeah, i use Ubuntu Linux and i'm a nerd... so fucking what?
by nunsgetnakedforjesus April 25, 2008
by Mike Archambault September 14, 2007