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17.
Quasi-metal band that started the late 70s, featuring the 'virtuoso' guitar player, Eddie Van Halen and frontman/clown David Lee Roth. Some of their early songs (Running with the Devil, Jamie's Cryin') are listenable to most people, but over the long haul, their juvenile themed songs get old. The guitar wanking gets even older.

They developed huge following of high school loser guys who dreamed of being guitar wankers themselves, often playing air guitar in their bedrooms on weekend nights instead of getting out of the house and interacting with human beings. Said fans were disillusioned in the mid-80s when the clown left the circus and Sammy Haggar, an even worse singer, joined. His forte prior to joining Van Halen was recording juvenile themed songs like "I Can't Drive 55" and "Trans Am", obviously something that loser high school kids would latch onto. The closest these loser kids will get to being actual guitar wankers themselves is developing throat cancer and arthritic hips as Eddie Van Halen did in the late 90s. Possible sightings in the future might be a Roth-Van Halen reunion at the Naperville town carnival in 2007.

High school loser, circa 1979 - "Van Halen rocks, man!"
Same loser, circa 2006 - "Put your stretch pants on, honey, and bring *cough cough* me my smokes, we're going *cough cough* to the carnival and see Van Halen. *hack cough hack* And can we stop *cough cough* by your sisters house to borrow some money for beer? *wheez*
by Oh Welles September 13, 2006
 
1.
One of the greatest bands of all time. This band redefined the term of shredding and good fuckin' Rock and Roll. I love them in a very hedero way and Eddie Van Halens influence on todays guitar players such as me is extremely strong. Other bands such as POD, Sum 41 and Blink 182 should bow down to Van Halen because Van Halen is such a better band then those poor,low fuckin' excuses for a rock and roll band. Such rockin' songs by Van Halen were Runnin' With the Devil, Panama, Hot For Teacher, Ain't Talkin' Bout' Love, and the ultimite example of Eddies excellence of playing, is Eruption. Probably the greatest 1:32 seconds of any Van Halen fans life. That song is like orgasmic! Overall Van Halen is one of the best Rock and Roll bands of all time and will get their place in the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Next year baby! They will get in!!
Person 1: Hey dude whats that awsome fuckin music??
Person 2: Its Van Halen dude!
by guitarmaster8910 March 19, 2004
 
2.
Listen To Eruption, and youll know why they got number 2 in 100 best solos
Eruption was just PRACTICE for eddie van halen, it wasnt even suppose to be in the album!
by Sex Maniac September 08, 2004
 
3.
A band that owns all others, the best of the best. Need I say more?
Van Halen kicks ass.
by EVH February 22, 2005
 
4.
One of the greatest bands ever until that pussy Sammy Hagar became the lead singer.
I was one of the best guitar players ever. Then, I decided to play keyboards. I needed a pussy singer. I fired Dave then hired the biggest pussy I could think of. Sammy Hagar.
by Pud June 19, 2005
 
5.
The band to which all rock guitar solos must be compared, and the band of the cosmos in Back to the Future. Just listen to Eruption and you'll see why.
"*Marty inserts tape labelled Van Halen to wake up George McFly*"
by KinGAleX March 21, 2005
 
6.
The Best Most Kick Ass Rock band ther ever is was and will ever be. Van Halen led by guitarist eddie van halen who cannot be stopped or topped.
Van Halen is the best period.
by Remember001 August 23, 2005
 
7.
A really good classic rock band but unfortunately most pussies only know about one or two of their albums.

EVERYTHING WITH ROTH ON IT FUCKING ROCKS!

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS AND DISCOVER THIS KILLER FUCKING BAND.
Don't even talk to me about Sammy Hagar.
Sammy Hagar is a cheesy dick.He can't sing for fuck compared to Diamond Dave.
by Rock & Roll ain't for pussies August 11, 2004