In the world of online gaming, Umtard refers to a retarded player that resorts to insults, rage quitting, clone killing (power-leveling), complaining, camping, hacking, glitching and being an asshole in general. The origin of this word spawns from the game Rush Team 2, where two players by the names of Umnika and MrUmni displayed all of the above characteristics to the extreme.
Cigarette: Northern slang for a cigarette, used oft by mashed up mancunian ravers becasue of the resemblance of a hot(electric)stove to the end of a lit cigarette. Originated circa 1991 in the early halcyon days of the rave culture; we speculate during a drug fuelled hallucination by said manc.
'fuck me noel, i am bolloxed, is that a ciggy in your mouth, or the stove from me 'nans kitchen'/
General use: 'Give us a stove you cunt'
A hardo is a person who tries extremely hard at everything. Most times a hardo will try very hard at things that do not require excessive effort. For example, sports practices, gym class, etc.
Wow did you see Jack at practice today? What a hardo!