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12.
Recto-Urethral Metamorphosis Syndrome

RUMS does not have to be the end of the world! It's only the spontaneous formation of an anomalous canal leading from the urinary bladder to the colon. There are various treatments and support groups available depending on how bad the piss coming out of your ass gets.

Various forms of anal neglect (ie. vigorous anal pounding, forgetting to wipe) are the impetus of the formation of a new aqueduct leading from the urinary tract to the puborectalis, a process known as anal fusion. No cure currently exists for RUMS. However, the following treatment options may relieve both you and your family of the grief, physical agony, and humiliation associated with anal drip:

• Anal scraping -- Use your physician-prescribed anal pen to remove any exterior lesions that may form around the sphincter. Make sure the blade is duly sharpened beforehand. Please use caution during this procedure, as intense scraping of the anal region may exacerbate the amount of piss coming from your ass.

• Rapid anal insertion (RAI)-- Insert the anal pen into your sphincter and leave it in place for 5 to 7 days. Repeat this process every 2 weeks until symptoms improve. Remove ONLY to defecate.

• Emergency Anal Sealant -- Apply a dime-size dollop of Dr. Thesinger's Quick Dry Anal Epoxy® around the sphincter whenever anal drip reaches a constant, painful stream. Do NOT apply ointment more than 5 times in 24 hours. Use as directed.

• Post-Anal Fusion Reconstructive Surgery (PAFRS): With the help of a break-through medical procedure known as PAFRS, doctors can successfully minimalize the daunting effects of RUMS. Once intensively tunneling into the sphincter with a laser-tipped anal pipette, doctors cauterize the aqueduct so as to divert all excess urine from the colon toward the urinary bladder; and away from the anus. This operation is reserved for patients with only the most severe cases of anal drip.

Consult your anal specialist for advice.

There's help!!
Counseling Hotlines:
1-800-244-6373
1-800-382-5277
RUMShelp@yahoo.com

For all your RUMS related needs!
There was this kid in my building who never wiped his ass. I heard he has RUMS now and can't stop pissing from his ass.
by Dr. Geraldo Thesinger, P.h. D March 30, 2009
 
1.
Rum
(n) A tasty liquor. Goes great with coke. See Captain Morgan or Bacardi and enjoy.
Hey there, bar keep. Let me get a rum and coke and keep em' comin.
by ben October 06, 2003
 
2.
rum
a magical drinking which apon sipping, you automatically turn into a pirate
jimmy before rum: whats up dudes?
jummy after rum: ahoy mates! scrub the poop decks! yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
by Allisoooooon February 02, 2007
 
3.
rum
a tasty beverage favored mostly by prirates
Pirate: "why is the rum always gone" ?
by lilyrose August 10, 2007
 
4.
rum
An alcholic beverage that is usually mixed with other drinks. Havana Club is popular in Cuba. It comes in a variety of flavours and is usually added to anything that you ask for at the bar.
After drinking a few cokes I realized that Juan-Carlos was adding rum to each one. Sweet...
by chhh May 03, 2005
 
5.
rum
Best. Damn. Drink. Ever. Add Coka-Cola and a lime and you got a great thing. Drink it stright and it still kicks ass. I recomend Myers's Dark Original (80 Proof) or Bacardi 151 (151 Proof).
When all you gots is Coke and rum, have fun. Get some girls over!!!
by Pimp T-Dawg January 08, 2004
 
6.
Rum
Liquor, from the caribbean, made out of sugar cane.
"why is the rum always gone?"
"Rum is for drinking not for burning"
by barcelo February 23, 2008
 
7.
Rum
Nectar of the gods. Made from sugar. Makes you smarter, better at everything, makes others seem more attractive.
Rum is the most delicious alcohol known to the human population. It transcends race, ethnicity, sexuality, and intellect.
by Mango77 January 11, 2010