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Optipessimist 

One whom gives a non-philosophical answer to a philosophical answer, providing both the optimistic and pessimistic points of view.
Question: Is the glass half-full or half-empty?
Answer: The glass's orientation between the level of contents and the height of the glass and the definition of which you describe said content/height ratio is relative to the previous action unto which the glass arived at it's current orientation.

The answer was given by an optipessimist.
Optipessimist by Chrisazy February 19, 2009
Related Words

Optipessimist 

Seeing the glass as half-full...of backwash.
Robin thinks President Obama's new Jobs Act will create millions of new jobs. Millions of unnecessary, temporary jobs that will cost the rest of us billions of dollars we don't have. She's a true optipessimist!
Optipessimist by TomSlick September 19, 2011
An Irish phrase meaning shit, derived from ass
(Not to be confused with the literal description of one's buttocks)
"Did you hear the song Aylek$ dropped?"
"Hardly. Her music is absolute cheeks."

"My boyfriend say LaFlame is cheeks."
"Tell your boyfriend I said it's his mixtape that's cheeks."
Cheeks by thecartisan April 26, 2020

sans sheriff 

Lawless use of fonts or typography, with no regard to aesthetics or legibility
I'm putting this CV straight in the bin. Written totally sans sheriff.
sans sheriff by Jamarley July 3, 2019

Breadhead 

Someone who is addicted to obtaining money and building wealth. A money addict and fanatic. Breadheads often work more than one full-time job, and some even participate in illicit activities to "obtain the bread".
A breadhead is like a crackhead, but for money instead of crack.
Breadhead by 🅱️ U S 3 4 8 March 30, 2022

Stink lines

As seen in illustrations or cartoons: Wavy, vertical lines rising above a person, place or thing. Denotes a foul odor.
"You didn't put enough stink lines on your picture of the teacher."
Stink lines by Athene Airheart March 14, 2004