The most southeastern state of the United States whose shape bears an uncanny resemblance to the male member in its flaccid state. Its nickname as the "Sunshine State" is really a misnomer because, more often than not, the sun is hidden by rainclouds -- a symptom of Florida's year-round humidity. While California, the true sunshine state, is defined by endless sun and beautiful mountain vistas, Florida is a veritable swampland plagued by heavy rain and overcast skies. However, there is the occasional sunny, HUMID day.
On a more sinister note, Florida is the reason why George W. Bush was in office for eight years. Florida is thus responsible for irreparable damage done to the United States, and indeed, to the world. This is a testament to Floridians' intelligence, or lack thereof. In addition, Florida has laws in place which provide complete public access to any private individual's court documents. It is said that upon hearing news of these laws' passage, cable news producers became fully aroused and/or wet.
College Kid #1: Dude
, I'm going to South Beach
, Florida for Spring Break! You should totally come, bro
College Kid #2: No, dude
, I'm going to Cali
. I don't wanna have to worry about rain. What's the matter, bro
?? You couldn't afford Mykonos
??? Or are you gonna go visit your grandparents down there too...???
The godforsaken Sunshine State renowned for weather and beaches. Florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. Well-known for its subpar education system, Florida is home to Florida State University
, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. The population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired New Yorker, go to any one of Boca Raton's 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a Latino/Hispanic
/person whose first language is Spanish, turn around. Florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more Southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like Cuba (as evidenced by the Little Havana area of Miami
). Still, Florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. All place names here are either of Spanish (Punta Gorda, Boca Ciega) or Native American (Tallahassee, Econolockhatchee River) origin, or contain the word "orange" in them. Florida decor has inexplicably come to mean "a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting." Floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.
-"Florida's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here."
-"Bah! Go back to New York, you snowbird
Florida: The state for the newly-wed and the nearly-dead.
AKA: God's waiting room.
A state with two seasons... Summer and January 14th.
I went to Florida for Christmas break... It felt like I was there for SPRING Break.
The only state in the country where the further north you go, the further south you get. Also a lovely place to retire.
If I retire rich, I will probably live in or around Miami, but if I retire poor, I'll probably retire up North near the panhandle, in a trailor, with my dog Rufus. someone kill me
Homer simpson: We can't go to Florida... thats America's wang! *points at the dick-like state of Florida*
The only state in the U.S. where the number of natural disasters in a year is more than the number of smart politicians.
Hurricanes or morons? People of Florida have to pick their poison, sometimes even both.
The most disposable "rapper" in the history of music.
Hey Bobby, what's a seven letter word for human excrement?