Oh god, my current home state. If you live there, either a small town in the south, or Melbourne and surrounding towns is the only decent plae where you won't be called a hick. I have to do to the rest of this wasteland for some cheerleading compititions, and I feel like I'll get shot. Trailer parks dominate most of the state, and the other half is the coast line full of condos, which are full of old people. If your not poor then you probably live in a private community (i.e. maybe a gate, definatly deffrently labeled neighborhoods) and go to one of the 485639670 different schools that you could be zoned for, even if someone living closer to it than you is going to a different one. Because just about every single child abduction yu see in the news is from Florida, the cops get every 13-year-old girl grounded because they decide them walking home at 6pm is dangerous, and they need a ride home. (I should know it happened twice in the last two weeks.) If you drive here, you've been pulled over at least once a month for no apparent reason for at least the last year. Every kid gets sprayed with the "RECLAIMED WATER" (shit water sprinklers) going to the bus stop. About 80% of every one ages 10-50 smokes daily, and not legally either. What do we do for fun? Wandering around aimlessly in outdoor malls at 10pm or getting drunk off your ass every night is pretty much all there is to do. Emo kids and "skaters" run the town. Pretty much everyone's parents are divorced, half the kids live with their grandparents, and the other half live in the shitty army housing. Everyone steals makeup from target, and the rich kids wear abercrombie and drink starbucks. You probably know people that shoplift as a hobby. Just call the kids white trash and wish you didn't live here. Fat sunburned tourist ruin the summer, but where the hell are you supposed to go?
NOBODY FROM FLORIDA, LIKES FLORIDA.
East Coast Kid= "OMG SO HOW MUCH FUN WAS IT LIVING IN FLORIDA!?
Florida Kid= "It was full of burnouts and single parents, why?"
East Coast Kid= "What? Didn't you go to Disney every day?!"
Florida Kid= "You would think. No, I had to spend my time pretending to be interested in the bag of weed my 'friend' bought from his father."
East Coast Kid= "Ew..."
Florida Kid= "Tell me about it."
The godforsaken Sunshine State renowned for weather and beaches. Florida is noteworthy for having no discernible season changes. Well-known for its subpar education system, Florida is home to Florida State University
, a party school known for its football team and its acceptance of anyone who has a pulse and can spell his or her own name correctly. The population here is an amalgam of inhabitants from elsewhere; if you wish to find a retired New Yorker, go to any one of Boca Raton's 5,000 retirement communities; if you want to find a Latino/Hispanic
/person whose first language is Spanish, turn around. Florida is a geographic anomaly in that the farther north you travel, the more Southern it seems (and sounds like), and the farther south you go, the more it seems like Cuba (as evidenced by the Little Havana area of Miami
). Still, Florida, as a whole, is without an easily recognizable dialect. All place names here are either of Spanish (Punta Gorda, Boca Ciega) or Native American (Tallahassee, Econolockhatchee River) origin, or contain the word "orange" in them. Florida decor has inexplicably come to mean "a seafoam green and pink couch with a watercolor pelican painting." Floridians are not known for good taste; also missing are driving skills, especially in the frequent rain, and voting know-how.
-"Florida's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here."
-"Bah! Go back to New York, you snowbird
Florida: The state for the newly-wed and the nearly-dead.
AKA: God's waiting room.
A state with two seasons... Summer and January 14th.
I went to Florida for Christmas break... It felt like I was there for SPRING Break.
The only state in the country where the further north you go, the further south you get. Also a lovely place to retire.
If I retire rich, I will probably live in or around Miami, but if I retire poor, I'll probably retire up North near the panhandle, in a trailor, with my dog Rufus. someone kill me
Homer simpson: We can't go to Florida... thats America's wang! *points at the dick-like state of Florida*
The only state in the U.S. where the number of natural disasters in a year is more than the number of smart politicians.
Hurricanes or morons? People of Florida have to pick their poison, sometimes even both.
The most disposable "rapper" in the history of music.
Hey Bobby, what's a seven letter word for human excrement?