ok wow I got shown the link to this and at first i found it hillerious.

Then it continues and I must say is quite depressing seriously you women need a life.

I must say this just so that you might move on Edward Cullen doesnt exist and the actual human form will never like you lol.

Why would he????

Get a life people
Edward Cullen = Stupid 14 year old girls retarted
by Edward Cullen gay April 01, 2009
A Gay pixie Fairy that sucks people off and Sparkles
your so Edward Cullen.
There are so many Edward Cullens at the pride parade
by Scarlet Failure February 06, 2010
A creepy pedophile who preys on younger girls who have man voices.
Edward is very old, in his hundreds yet likes a 17 year old
Pretends to be high school student
Watches said manly girl in their sleep

Is gay, VERY gay
Edward Cullen *watching Bella sleep*
"I'm a creepy pedophile"
by fruit-loops October 24, 2009
Edward Cullen is a weirdo, who is in fact ugly and will creep into your mom's bedroom, (and is sparkly).
Edward Cullen is gonna come into your mom's bedroom tonight.
by K-$&SS September 13, 2009
A 108 year old vampire that is frozen in time in a seventeen year old body and mind(besides the fact he is oh so super smart). The love interest of Bella Swan and they eventually get married and have a hybrid. He has a lot of fan girls, a lot of haters, and a lot of neutrals. He is too over protective, he watched Bella in her sleep before they actually met(who does that?!).

Has a bad relationship with Jacob and most of Bella's guy friends. He is described as perfect(which is boring). All of the other characters-even BELLA!-- have more personality than him yet most of them are rejected and only some people pay attention to them. Oh, and did I mention he sparkles?

Girl:"O-M-G Edward Cullen is so smexy!"
guy:"You mean the pedo vampire stalker?"
girl:"Yup!" <3

Direct quote from book:
"And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct?"
by Anonymous Autumn Breeze April 12, 2009
A pussy emo Meyerpire.

Hobbies include:
Breeding Spawn
Stalking Girls
Being a huge Pedophile (Come on, 108 year old dating a 18 year old is like a 40 year old dating a 6 year old)
Being extremely racist

Every 12 year old girl idolizes him as 'the perfect boyfriend'. Also Stephanie Meyer's fake boyfriend.

Did I mention he sparkles?
Girl 1: OME!!!! I LOVE EDWARD CULLEN!!!!!!!!!! <3
Me: He doesn't exist.
Me: *walks away*
by MoofinChan November 22, 2009
Cool people pronounce this word as: Edward Coo-yen

That fucking boring douchebag from the Twilight series who makes annoying little teenie-bopper girls wet their drawers. Sometimes smart people who read the books get so angry about the lack of chemistry he has with Bella that they just want to forget the books were ever written. It is astounding that people can be so blinded by his "beauty" that they do not realize that he is unbelievably BORING and OVER-CONTROLLING. He is also cheesy and rediculous. Everything he says reeks of snobby arrogance and lies. Finally, he is constantly having to ask Bella what she is thinking and then Bella always says the same thing (something along the lines of "Waaaaah! When are you going to change me into a vampire!?!?" or "Waaaaah! When are we going to have teh secks!?!?") to which Edward always makes the same reply. In short, they never have anything to say to eachother.

By the way, the real reason they are not having sex is NOT because Edward is afraid he will hurt her, it's because he can't get it up! You can't get an erection if you don't have any blood in your system! And don't come up with bullshit replies to this known truth, I don't care that it's the whole "willing suspension of debelief thing" because I'm not willing to suspend my belief!

Edward Cullen: "Hey Bella, let's have the same conversation over and over and over again and see how long it takes these lonely 13-year-olds to realize that we are completely boring together and have absolutely no chemistry to speak of."

Bella: "Okay! It is so much fun to value a boy solely for his looks and his ability to come up with bullshit declarations of love. Also, I love the way you control my every move and never let me think for myself. Finally, I can't wait until you change me into an undead, bloodless, inhuman monster and our relationship falls apart completely."

by Jacob/Bella Shipper January 24, 2008

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