57
ok wow I got shown the link to this and at first i found it hillerious.

Then it continues and I must say is quite depressing seriously you women need a life.

I must say this just so that you might move on Edward Cullen doesnt exist and the actual human form will never like you lol.

Why would he????

Get a life people
Edward Cullen = Stupid 14 year old girls retarted
by Edward Cullen gay April 01, 2009
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58
A 108 year old vampire that is frozen in time in a seventeen year old body and mind(besides the fact he is oh so super smart). The love interest of Bella Swan and they eventually get married and have a hybrid. He has a lot of fan girls, a lot of haters, and a lot of neutrals. He is too over protective, he watched Bella in her sleep before they actually met(who does that?!).

Has a bad relationship with Jacob and most of Bella's guy friends. He is described as perfect(which is boring). All of the other characters-even BELLA!-- have more personality than him yet most of them are rejected and only some people pay attention to them. Oh, and did I mention he sparkles?



Girl:"O-M-G Edward Cullen is so smexy!"
guy:"You mean the pedo vampire stalker?"
girl:"Yup!" <3

Direct quote from book:
"And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct?"
by Anonymous Autumn Breeze April 12, 2009
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59
The sexiest, most beautiful vampire ever to be written. Of course, Louis de Pointe du Lac is his equal.

Edward is a character in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. He is the reddish-brown haired, topaz-eyed beloved of the beautiful Bella Swan.
I heart Edward Cullen.

"...and so the lion fell in love with the lamb."
by Betsy Jacobson November 01, 2006
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60
Cool people pronounce this word as: Edward Coo-yen

That fucking boring douchebag from the Twilight series who makes annoying little teenie-bopper girls wet their drawers. Sometimes smart people who read the books get so angry about the lack of chemistry he has with Bella that they just want to forget the books were ever written. It is astounding that people can be so blinded by his "beauty" that they do not realize that he is unbelievably BORING and OVER-CONTROLLING. He is also cheesy and rediculous. Everything he says reeks of snobby arrogance and lies. Finally, he is constantly having to ask Bella what she is thinking and then Bella always says the same thing (something along the lines of "Waaaaah! When are you going to change me into a vampire!?!?" or "Waaaaah! When are we going to have teh secks!?!?") to which Edward always makes the same reply. In short, they never have anything to say to eachother.

By the way, the real reason they are not having sex is NOT because Edward is afraid he will hurt her, it's because he can't get it up! You can't get an erection if you don't have any blood in your system! And don't come up with bullshit replies to this known truth, I don't care that it's the whole "willing suspension of debelief thing" because I'm not willing to suspend my belief!

Edward Cullen: "Hey Bella, let's have the same conversation over and over and over again and see how long it takes these lonely 13-year-olds to realize that we are completely boring together and have absolutely no chemistry to speak of."

Bella: "Okay! It is so much fun to value a boy solely for his looks and his ability to come up with bullshit declarations of love. Also, I love the way you control my every move and never let me think for myself. Finally, I can't wait until you change me into an undead, bloodless, inhuman monster and our relationship falls apart completely."

Edward: "WWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE!"
by Jacob/Bella Shipper January 24, 2008
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61
the most awesome person ever! Sexiest Vampire alive... well, er existing. The love of my life! Sweet, sensitive, kind, hott, and beyond perfection!
Every woman alive should be in love with Edward Cullen!
by KEC127 December 10, 2007
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62
basically the perfect guy. he is one of the main characters in Stephanie Meyers books Twilight, New Moon and Eclispe. he is in love with bella swan. he is also a vampire. (not a average vampire that you see in movies with all the goth and the "i vant to suck ur blood" crap.) he is just a average person who is extreamly smart, talented and perfectly hot. he lives with other vampires who are equally gifted. carlisle, esme, emmet, rosalie, jasper and alice.
"did you stab edward cullen with a pencil or something?"
"do i dazzle you?" "frequently"
"and so the lion fell in love with the lamb"
by twilightgirl November 25, 2007
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63
Sparkling vagina. Not a vampire. Not a fairy. Not the "perfect gentleman". Just a huge, sparkling, vagina.
Obessed teen girl: "Omg, Edward Cullen is the hottest vampire ever!!"
Smart girl: "No, he's not. Hell, he's not even a vampire. He's a sparkling vagina."
by Aunty Pebblz July 25, 2010
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