the national call-before-you-
dig number
aka the number you dial when you don't want to accidently
dig into some underground pipes or circuits
like a dumbass
Person 1: "
Imma dig a 10 foot hole in my backyard to bury my collection of dead puppies"
Person 2: "but first you gotta call 811 so you don't
strike electrical wiring underground"
Person 1: "nah fuck that, Imma shock my self