Derived from the T.V show 'How I met your mother', to Ted is to be morbidly depressed about your social or love life. People who ted often; over think situations, have low confidence in their appeal to the opposite sex and often refer to attractive members of the opposite sex as 'out of their league'. People who Ted on a regular basis tend to be unimpulsive and require a great deal of peer pressure to engage with the opposite sex.
Guy 1: "So did you talk to Charissa last night?"
Guy 2: "Yeah, but I don't think she'd ever go for a guy like me."
Guy 1: "Stop tedding man."
by Moing It November 10, 2011
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tits or boobs that are as big as human heads
Bob: "Damn dude jessica got some nice pair of teds."

James: "yeah man her boobs are as big as someone's head."
by noochpam205 October 26, 2009
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Acronym. Typical Enlisted Dude. A slang term used to classify the junior enlisted portion of the military. A total cliche. Probably only joined the military because they watch too many movies. TEDs can easily be identified by their motivated regulation haircuts, lack of fashion sense, dopey personality, mindless devotion to their particular branch of service, limited vocabulary, and arrogant sense of self worth. They usually serve a some small role in the military, which often involves carrying guns to work. Typical Officer Dudes are obviously TODs
1) Air Wing Marine: Man, what a rough week. We had to send 3 planes overseas.
Grunt: Stupid POG! Why not join the infantry like a real Marine!
Air Wing Marine: Because I got higher than a 30 on the ASVAB, TED

2) Marine 1: Dude, look at the high and tight on that tool.

Marine 2 Hey TED(yelling)!

Marine 1: holy shit he looked. What a tool.
by ThreeFiveTwo June 9, 2010
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Abbreviations of Tooheys Extra Dry. One of the best beers for getting pissed on as a teenager/any age
Person A: Oi man I just us a carton of teds
Person B: Fucking well done man
by ShaunB92 January 9, 2009
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stands for "That Enlisted Dude." typically a enlisted member of the Coast Guard (or really any service) that feels slighted by the fact that he chose to join up right out of high school rather than try to become an officer and displays a high level of ignorance and contempt/jealousy for officers and cadets. Usually displays a lot of "service pride" which really means 95% of his clothing says Coast Guard on it somewhere, because it's way cheaper to buy things at the exchange than even Wal-Mart.
Guy 1: I was going to get a huge decal on the bag of my Dodge with an Eagle carrying the CG emblem.
Guy 2: Dude, that'd be like, so sick... Let's smoke some Camels and get nautical star tatoos to celebrate.
Cadet standing awkwardly: (under breath) TEDs...
by jimmycricket383838338383838388 February 20, 2010
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A term used in and around Liverpool,England.To describe a person as being a ted means that they are behind the times in terms of their fashion sense,musical taste or general outlook on matters.It's a take on the fashion craze Teddy Boys which was popular many years ago.
Sit down Nigel,you ted.
by Andrew Hill June 8, 2004
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a totally hot guy, one that you would would want to live with forever,
totally sweet, and knows how to love someone right,
you want to have babies with ted.
girl1: i got myself a ted the other night,
girl2: well done, i wish i could get a ted.
by tedlover. July 9, 2009
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