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Nutsacraments 

Sexually redemptive tenets laid out by Lord Anaconda The Whip, possessor of "The Wand of Forgiveness"

1) Woman, thou shalt suckle hungrily upon thy man's rigid cock, as if it were thy only source of nourishment.

2) Woman, thou shalt be attentive to the balls, lest they grow cold and melacholy.

3) Woman, though shalt pump the shaft with thy hand as with thy lotion bottle when very nearly empty.

4. Woman, when thy lover's cock spasms and erupts the nourishing, nectarous, pearly white cum to annoint thy face and mouth, thou shalt gulp it down eagerly, as an old alcoholic woman gulps Bailey's Irish Cream...for therein lay your salvation!

5. Woman, thou shalt gently kiss and lick thy lover's cock as it shrinks flacidly--for to suck vigorously as before is likely to tickle the sensitive, shrinking pipe-organ.

6. Woman, when engulfing the shaft with thine seething pussy, though shalt moan as if thou art being split in twain with it's massive orgasm-inducing prowess, and then whimper as if helpless before it's mighty shaft.

7. Woman, thou shalt eagerly offer thy lover butthole pleasures, the sooner after beginning dating, the better, that the alluringly forbidden backdoor loving not become an unmentionable taboo. Verily, no condom must bar the way, for the hot nutmilk to penetrate deeply into thine ass, for your pleasure.

"THESE ARE THE SEVEN NUTSACRAMENTS I HAVE GIVEN THEE TO HEED AND EMBODY, IN FULFILLMENT OF THE PROPHECY!!!" - Lord Anaconda The Whip
"I heard you hit that last night, was she any good?"

"SHE WAS PHENOMENAL...the best I've ever had...she observed ALL SEVEN OF THE NUTSACRAMENTS!!!"

"ALL SEVEN?!? Praise be to Lord Anaconda The Whip!!!"

PRAISE BE!!!
Nutsacraments by High Priest Salam December 4, 2010
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It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026
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