The Two Pump Rule

The Two Pump Rule has been created in honor of all those christians who feel guilty about having sex even if the guy just put his penis in once and then they felt bad and stopped. Do not worry my fellow christians, you did not have sex because a penis must be inserted into the vagina two times to have had sex. The head of the penis must totally be inside to count as a pump. If she is a virgin and you give only two pumps but break the hymen then well done, you have pooped her cherry without having sex with her.

Example 1:
Sally: I'm pregnant with your baby
John: Bitch, no your not
Sally: Your the only one I have has sex with
John: We didn't have sex, we didn't have sex because I got mines within two pumps
Sally: What?
John: Yeah bitch, "The Two Pump Rule", now get the fuck out my house cause I'm not the father.

Example 2:
Jack: Did you fuck my Wife!!!!!!
Matt: No
Matt: (thinking to himself)- I did not fuck her because I jacked off in the bathroom until I was almost about to cum and then went onto the bed and put it in her and ejaculated on the second pump...therefore I did not fuck her....thanks to The Two Pump Rule

The Two Pump Rule by not a father July 18, 2010

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Nutshot

It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.

Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.

Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009

Word of the Day on June 26, 2026

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Nerd neck

A "human" that spends so much time playing video games that their posture is level nerd neck. Everytime anyone goes tryhard they hunch down and their neck gets longer there fore a nerd neck is always hunched down cause they're always going try hard. In other words a nerd neck is a try hard, since their neck is 100% longer than the average human being due to playing too many video games and taking them serious, nerd necks are not even considered human anymore but something more sad. Nerd necks are often found on fortnite, their natural habitat usually being tilted towers.

What a fucking nerd neck!

He is building so fast, nerd neck!

Looser more like a nerd neck ha!

Nerd neck by D Sandwich Maker February 5, 2019

Word of the Day on June 25, 2026

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love peace and chicken grease

"another of sayin peace out or good bye"

Talk to ya later......Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease

love peace and chicken grease by Adronna July 19, 2003

Word of the Day on June 24, 2026

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prickup

slip of the tongue perhaps,
Those idiots who drive around in a ridiculously raised pick up truck, making a top heavy vehicle even more top heavy and unstable

A:*gah*
B: "Whats the matter"
A: This dam prickup is blinding me.
B: Stupid thing's, as if there lights weren't blinding enough as it is.

prickup by lunasea September 28, 2009

Word of the Day on June 23, 2026

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Serial Monogamist

Someone who jumps from one relationship immediately into another one.

Serial monogamists can not stand to be alone and often suffer from vast commitment and insecurity issues.

Because they jump into relationships immediately after the previous one has ended, serial monogamists typically don't take the time to reflect on their behavior or why their previous relationships failed; thus, they end up making the same relationship mistakes over and over again.

Person 1: Damn, Dustin already has a new girlfriend?! It's only been two weeks since he broke up with his fiance! I think he's a sociopath.

Person 2: No, he's a serial monogamist...

Serial Monogamist by Goody2Shuze March 6, 2016

Word of the Day on June 22, 2026

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liquid lunch

A lunchbreak comprised entirely of alcoholic beverages, and no food.

"With all the lay-offs that morning, it was rough. I hit the bar around the corner for a liquid lunch mid-day."

liquid lunch by Alexandra July 27, 2004

Word of the Day on June 21, 2026

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