Top Definition
The guy who criticizes everything you ever do, never admits he's wrong in front of you, the guy who ejaculated into your mom, the human bank machine, the only straight guy who ever cares for you but never admits it
me: can i drive today
me:oh come on
dad:if we die itz your fault

me:i got my ass kicked at school today
dad:you loser
me:they stole my lunch money too
dad:man you're the biggest mistake i ever made
dad:come on son lets go and hurt does guys then lets go to a buffet
by shitastic October 09, 2004
if they have a daughter they become extremely dangerous around the time when their daughter starts dating. THey tend to glare or attack any male within 20 feet of their daughter and then pretend it was an accident. Often times the mother will keep the father at bay when the daughters boy friend comes around. Or hopefully she will otherwise the daughter will have a boyfriend no more.
Oh shit! its my father hide.
by kim March 14, 2004
A man who begets and helps to raise his children. He strives to keep them safe and healthy. He works to feed and clothe them, and to send them to trade school or college. He gives them every opportunity to grow in experience and wisdom. He teaches them how to camp, how to shoot, and how to fix cars.

If he has a daughter, the time will come when he has to chase away a cretin who has a picture of Calvin taking a leak in the window of his pickup truck.
I work hard to be a good father to all my kids. I've raised them all to be wise and productive.
by The Wog Whomper May 11, 2005
The bastard that brought your poor life into this world.
Mommy, who's my father?
A drunk bastard
by T June 01, 2003
A person who is only there for you when convenient. Not a real dad. He tends to read books about raising your children, hoping to get all answers from them. This tends to result in him believing that all teenagers are druggies, or on steroids, and that all girls are bound to end up having unprotected sex by the time they're 16.
Any man can be a father. I takes a real man to be a dad.
by Dragonn June 11, 2005
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