Big wank 

Literal meaning : to take a w'hole'y satisfying and long lasting wank.
Actual meaning : a matter of far less consequence than it is made out to be.

penelope : Hey Sal! Did u hear?? Tori's back!! Guess its like they say...once u go black you never go back!

penguin man : Awww cmon man!! Now hes gonna know I told u he watches Tori Black porn!

penelope : So what?? BIG WANK!

Big wank by miscellanious acrobat January 1, 2010

The Big Wank Theory 

A theory that says that the universe, life, and everything in between is the result of God releasing premature ejaculation.

I just explained to my astronomy teacher about The Big Wank Theory and now I am sitting in ISS.

The Big Wank Theory by Pickle Richard October 11, 2019

the big wank 

a nasty nasty way of sex see porn for more info

female 1: omg you just came inside
female 2: but so did you omg
male 1: ladies im ugly im good in bed lets fuck
male 2: your a homo
male 3: well thats the big wank

the big wank by patriot brony October 13, 2013

Big Daddy Wank 

A cocaine and Adderall fueled alcoholic gambling addict with a predilection for Chinese prostitutes and Viagara.

God, I pulled such a Big Daddy Wank last night. I hit Mega Millions, bought 5,000 pounds of cocaine and lost the rest on $500,000 coin flips. I think my heart just exploded.

Big Daddy Wank by BDW apostate May 20, 2006

Big Telly Wank 

The act of cranking one out involving the use of the largest screen in the house (usually the TV in the living room) to watch pornography.

I'm sick of squinting at my phone screen in the toilet while the missus is home. I've got the house to myself tonight so I'm going to crack open a can, get pornhub up on the 60" in the living room and have a nice big telly wank.

Big Telly Wank by sproates April 29, 2021

big fat pile of wank

(adj.) objectionable, economic with the truth.


Literally, the seminal fluid produced after masturbation. See wank.

What that liberal politician said was a big fat pile of wank.

big fat pile of wank by Kung-Fu Jesus May 1, 2004

big telly pokey bum wank 

The insertion of your finger or object into your rectum whilst masturbating / jerking off, to increase pleasure while watching pornography or sexually stimulating broadcast material to enhance the experience, either on television or vvia internet streaming on computer, smartphone or tablet.

He was so aroused by the two lesbians performing cullingus on each other on late-night television, he couldn't resist giving himself a big telly pokey bum wank.

big telly pokey bum wank by Mackem Beefy September 19, 2021