Skip to main content
A choomer is, arguably, 'someone who behaves in a certain way with a friend(s), confident that the recipient(s) of any chooming act feels no animosity to the choomer for endulging in the act of chooming'. For example, 'cuddling', 'scrumming down' and talking about Carry On films fall within the terms of the definition. Clearly a choomer, propositioning a fellow choomer for the purposes of sexual gratification, would fall outside of the boundary of this definition.
Tim jumped on Richards back, and Richard says "stop being such a choomer"
choomer by Tugger Tim June 2, 2009
choomer mug front
Get the choomer mug.
See more merch
A person - usually male - who partakes in physical bonding by such means as cuddling, touching or mock-wrestling. Such actions are jocular and often done in high spirits, such as after a few drinks or in the sports changing rooms.
"That Tim is a real choomer - he keeps cuddling me.
choomer by choomermark May 29, 2009
Related Words
A person who is involved with the act of chooming. A child-man who remains in an adolescent state where physical touching is neither adult nor child. Choomers rely on masculine physical touching (pawing) to demonstrate their feelings. This physical touching becomes their distinctive display of self.

In purely Freudian terms, a choomer is an undeveloped adolescent whose 'pleasure principle' (id) overrides both his ego and superego: his reality and moral imperatives take second lace to his child-like wish fulfilment.
Tom is so childish, he is such a choomer: he cannot stop pawing me
choomer by VictorianMan1 September 12, 2009
A term derived from the two words: Chump and Loser, combined together.
Woah did you see that guy eat it on his bike? What a chooser!
Chooser by Will Smith’s a G July 31, 2021
Initially an internet version of the Wojack guy, a Coomer is a male chronic masturbator, an Incel on steroids, who lives in front of his PC consuming porn all day, and having no other interest in life other that to reach his next orgasm.

But the meme has grown, naturally.

Coomer now refers to any young man who is solely concentrated on an almost psychopathic need to chase the next dopamine hit, be it masturbation, game score, high of any kind. Coomers are now utterly useless self-pleasuring addicts, to the exclusion of any future career development or frankly any future plans at all beyond the strict need feed their addictions.
Haven't seen Geoff in ages? Yeah, since he lost his job and his girlfriend, he's locked himself in his room with packs of beer, a pack of toilet roll and Pizza on speed dial. Even skipped his mother's funeral. Total coomer now. Sad.
Coomer by Macnadoodle October 10, 2021
Cloom·er1
/ˈclo͞omər/
Individual who oversaturates the Clone Troopers from Star Wars, mostly known for their witty comments regarding the accuracy of imperial stormtroopers, as well as believing the Clone Wars TV Show is the best piece of Star Wars media.
"Dude, Tom is such a cloomer!"
Cloomer by YourMom1234567891011 February 6, 2020

Coomers Law 

If you masturbate in an unlocked room, someone is bound to enter.
Person 1: I was masturbating in the office supply closet which no one EVER enters, but of course as soon as I started spanking it, my boss walked in.

Person 2: That's Coomers law. Shouldn't have challenged it.
Coomers Law by TheGodOfSpeechcraft December 6, 2019