psiscott's definitions

excellent

NOT so excellent when said sarcastically. Used in a derogatory manner to mean exactly the opposite of its true meaning. Said when a complete SNAFU occurs and usually inflected upwards at the end so that instead of saying the "EX" with more force, you gradually increase the pitch and distress in your voice as you follow through the word. Delivery of "excellent" is an art form mastered by the most sarcastic individuals who have experienced far too many fuck-ups. A cluster fuck expression.

Max: "Remember I told you we won the lottery, well, I took the ticket in and found out that I had a ticket from LAST MONTH'S draw, I felt like a total stooge. Sorry dude, we actually didn't win that $6 MILLION."

Scott: "Excellent!"

by psiscott April 26, 2006

marital aid

1) Truly an item or object used to create a better sexual experience for lovers. A vibrator or sex toy. A dildo or the like. Sexual lubricants. Flavored sexual lubricants. Ribbed condom or the like.

2) A term used to incite laughter on a job-site or construction site to identify a large tool.

1) Kirk: "Spock, come to my ready room, and bring our favorite marital aid!"

2) Johnson: "Smith, go get that high torque two-inch hole boring hammer drill..and get the kid to come here to help me with it would ya!?"
Smith: "I'll get the kid and HE can bring you the marital aid!"

by psiscott April 26, 2006

neat

Used while ordering a beverage - alcoholic - to be consumed straight; without ice; accompanied only by the glass which surrounds it. Often used by men wanting to impress a woman - or another man. Often used by those who think they are better than others. Used by those who know nothing special - other than this unique word - around average to above-average folk who don't need to use such words because they don't flaunt their knowledge. Used by wannabe bartenders or egomaniacal bartenders when ordering - even if the drink tastes like piss 'neat' - just to impress another bartender, or waitress/waiter, with their flashy bar grammar.

Josh: "I'd like a peach schnapps NEAT please."
Bartender: "Would you like it in a glass or over your head putz?"

by psiscott April 27, 2006

dwanker

A total idiot, a lost cause, a moron's mentor! A guy that could make you stupid just talking with him for 2 minutes.

As you watch a guy across the street trying to get a paper out of the newspaper box - while holding his coffee - he fumbles for a second, goes to put his coffee down and misses the side of the box, it spills on a passing woman dressed in pure white, as he tries hopelessly to save the coffee, the box suddenly comes open and quickly slams shut on his nuts. He yells in pain and shock....you slowly shake your head in disbelief and say: "What a dwanker!"

by psiscott April 26, 2006

dillwad

Akin to dillweed but more derogatory sounding. A dolt moron dwanker wank wanker spaz idiot moron senseless

Joey: "Scott, I put all the papers on your desk into that little box by your filing cabinet, I hope I didn't disturb anything important?"

Scott: "Oh, no Joey you didn't disturb anything, you fucking DESTROYED EVERYTHING; you put my entire 700 page unpublished novel draft into the shredder you fucking dillwad!!!!"

by psiscott April 25, 2006

Peach Schnapps

A delicious - yet somewhat feminine - Schnapps with a strong peach flavour. Bols makes many Schnapps and the peach is very sweet and tasty. Nice on its on with rocks or delicious served in a mix to make a Fuzzy Navel.

Max (born male): "Could you order me a Peach Schnapps neat please."
Scott: "Pardon!"
Max (born male): "Could you order me a Peach Schnapps....neat please."
Scott: "You better order that one yourself girl, I don't need to get kicked out of here...I'd gladly get you a feminine napkin from the washroom though Nancy boy.

by psiscott April 27, 2006

condom swimmer

A small penis. A penis that effectively swims in a condom often designed for average but not NORMAL sized hard-ons
A penis slightly larger than the actual condom swimmers - the sperm cells.

Scott: "Hey Bill, did you see Max in the shower, I couldn't help be notice, he was washing his cock, I thought it was his fucking baby finger...I nearly exploded laughing...what can you do with that little stub?!"
Bill: "Yea I know, the guy acts and talks like he is the end-all and be-all for women when in fact he is packing a fucking condom swimmer!"

by psiscott April 26, 2006