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1001 nights

NOT 1001 Knights. This has nothing to do with chivalry per se but a length of time; hence 'nights.'

The Book of One Thousand and One Nights - also known as The Book of a Thousand Nights and a Night, One Thousand and One Nights, 1001 Arabian Nights, Arabian Nights, The Nightly Entertainments or simply The Nights - is a medieval Middle-Eastern literary epic which tells the story of Scheherazade, a Sassanid Queen, who must relate a series of stories to her malevolent husband, the King, to delay her execution. The stories are told over a period of one thousand and one nights, and every night she ends the story with a suspenseful situation, forcing the King to keep her alive for another day. The individual stories were created over many centuries, by many people and in many styles, and they have become famous in their own right. Notable examples include Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves and The Seven Voyages of Sinbad the Sailor.
Mitch: -- in a wannabe, I am a lit sophomore manner -- "If this continues we are going to have to call in the 1001 knights; to quote the title of a book."

Scott: "Wrong again guy; it is '1001 nights' as in 'the evening.' This is not a reference to guys in armour on the backs of horses!"
by psiscott May 2, 2006
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road rage

A term often misused by the media describing an individual who is angry that someone cut him off or when a merge hopper passes or darts in front of him.
Under some circumstances, the rager is actually the total dick; the aggressive driver. When someone nearly kills you with some sort of punk ass reckless driving move, your rage should NOT be coined "road rage," just as your rage at someone pointing a gun at you wouldn't be coined such or considered abnormal.
Scott: "I was driving along with my newborn and son in the car and this merge hopper darts in front of me. I had to SLAM on my brakes! My kids nearly went flying out of their child seats! I freaked! If the fucking media was there, they would have plastered it all over the 6 o'oclock as a "road rage" incident!"

Max: "I hear you dude, its like the asshole pointed a gun at your kids heads and was pulling the trigger. He could have killed you all. I would have been pissed man, the media would have been there alright....doing the LEAD on a murder investigation!!"
by psiscott April 26, 2006
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Muskoka

Beautiful cottage country in south-central Ontario, Canada. Made 'famous' by such Hollywood stars as Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and Tom Hanks and others.
Once a place of peace and quiet, respectfully tainted with the noise of summer-fun including boating, water skiing, tubing, and just about any other outdoor activity - other than HUNTING!
The original cottages were a place to escape to from the rat-race of the stinky city - mainly the city of Toronto.
Once this land was 'discovered' by certain high-profile people, rich pricks decided it was 'trendy' and 'necessary' to purchase land or a cottage there so as to look upwardly-mobile. This has degraded Muskoka by making it unrealistically expensive for the average layman to purchase; and unmanagable for those who first set their cottage roots there, due to higher taxes and anal newcomers.
Like the white-man raped the Native Americans' lands, so has the yuppie/rich prick raped Muskoka.
New Muskokan cottager:

Franchini: "Are we taking the Bentley and the Bichon to Muskoka this weekend Elsha?"
Elsha: "Well we may need the Bentley because Arthur is flying in from Eton. I think we should have Ramon watch the Bichon as you know Arthur just won't have anything to do with her shedding!"
Franchini: "Fine..fine..fine..Let Ramon watch the bitch and we shall enjoy Cognac with Arthur in Muskoka...I do hope the central air is on when we arrive and that the plumbers have installed the three 'bidets' in the main washrooms."

TRUE Muskokan cottager in the 70s:

Merv: "Did we get the coolers and sleeping bags all packed kids?"
Kids: "Yes daddy, and mommy made us some lunches 'cause we're hungry now and can't wait till we stop for our mid-trip snack. I hope the bunny's are there at the stop. Can we get our allowance now so we can buy some blackballs and bottlecaps daddy?"
Merv: "If you are good. Remember, its a long drive but at least we have this wagon now. Too bad we can't afford a plane to fly up and avoid the traffic." - laughing
Kids: "Yea, but at least we have a boat so we can ski and fish and stuff."
Merv: "That's true kids, good attitude."
by psiscott April 27, 2006
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marital aid

1) Truly an item or object used to create a better sexual experience for lovers. A vibrator or sex toy. A dildo or the like. Sexual lubricants. Flavored sexual lubricants. Ribbed condom or the like.

2) A term used to incite laughter on a job-site or construction site to identify a large tool.
1) Kirk: "Spock, come to my ready room, and bring our favorite marital aid!"

2) Johnson: "Smith, go get that high torque two-inch hole boring hammer drill..and get the kid to come here to help me with it would ya!?"
Smith: "I'll get the kid and HE can bring you the marital aid!"
by psiscott April 26, 2006
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actor

In the biz a MALE who acts. If you are a female who believes she should be called an 'actor' then get a sex change...and see female actor for assistance.
Tom Cruise thinks that he is an actor. He was good when he was young, but now he is an egomaniac and should hire someone who is actually tough and large to do his 'cool dude' movies like "Mission Impossible." Tommy makes these movies unwatchable knowing that Nicole could likely kick his ass.
Some women think that they are actors. They are wrong. They are actresses. If they are actually hermaphrodites then they should be given the option; otherwise, the ACTING needs to stop at least with THIS word SNAFU.
by psiscott May 2, 2006
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death wish

This is the first of several films featuring Charles Bronson as Paul Kersey, a modern day urban equivalent of Robin Hood, Zorro, and the Lone Ranger. When initially released, Death Wish was immediately controversial as was Dirty Harry (1971). Audiences tended to be divided between those who were offended by what they considered to be excessive violence and those who (like Harry Callahan and Paul Kersey) had lost confidence in society's willingness and/or ability to respond effectively to violent crime.

When we first meet Kersey, he is in all respects a gentle man. A successful architect who is happily married to Joanna (Hope Lange) and a proud father of his beloved daughter, he is carefully positioned as a law-abiding citizen. After his wife and daughter are brutally attacked by thugs who escape punishment, Kersey commits himself to ridding the city of such crap. In fact, he seeks them out in the most likely areas (e.g. public parks and on subways), coldly and systematically killing as many as he can. Of course, other law abiding citizens are wholly supportive of his efforts but law enforcement officials fear the possible implications of such vigilantiism.

Directed by: Michael Winner
"I watched 'Death Wish' and after turning off the DVD, I wondered why there weren't more heroic vigilantes out there." Good work "Kersey!"
by psiscott April 26, 2006
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pissing out of my ass

Extreme diarrhea. Nearly pure fluid generally yellow or light brown that comes forth while attempting to shit but finding out you have this problem. Shit that actually is more like piss
Scott: "After we had that $4 all-you-can eat Chinese buffet last night, I woke up with massive stomach cramps. I went to the can and was pissing out of my ass."

Max: "yea, I had the same problem, I went to the can to take a leak, finished, fealt I had to shit, turned around, sat down and ended up pissing out of my ass!"
by psiscott April 26, 2006
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