p@$$ing thr.ugh's definitions

purgist

A person who has the compulsion to purge their darkest secrets or rat themselves out with little or no prompting.

Person 1: Hey, you seem nice, will you just watch over my little girl for 5 minutes while I try to change this tire.
Purgist: I'd love to, but I have to tell you, I have ADD and I'm easily distracted, I'm a boarder-line alcoholic, I lack the ability to make even the smallest decision, and I have a hard time controlling my bodiliy functions.
Person 1: On second thought, I'll just leave her in the back seat.

Roomate: Hey, Mindy, just remember our rent's due next week.
Purgist: Okay, here's my share of it. By the way, I was pissed off that you finished all the cookies, so I peed in your shoes, it wasn't the cat, and I feel much better now.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 15, 2010

the tapeworm diet

When you continue to lose weight mysteriously like a cancer patient, despite eating like a pig, and working out seldom or never.

Cate: You've lost weight. Are you on some kind of diet.
Natalie: I'm on a steady diet of pizza, cheetos, and peanutbutter.
Cate: You must be working out?
Natalie: Yeah, I do try to alternate between holding my cigarette in the right and left.
Cate: Whatever, the tapeworm diet looks good on you.
Natatlie: There's something wrong with me. I'm scared.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh March 12, 2010

the mole paradox

the mole paradox lies herein:
The mole is an incredibly cute furry animal that fills you with unbridled joy and makes you want to JUST eat it up.
The mole on a human being is a sign of disability, retardation, and witchcraft and induces vomiting. Hence the paradox lies in the conflict of emotion upon encountering examples of each of the aforementioned articles.

At the zoo I saw a girl petting a cute little mole, however, she had a huge mole square in the middle of her forehead, so I was faced with the mole paradox. I puked, and then I ate it.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 6, 2010

box guy

A helpful lad, who's always good at telling you what part of the latest trend you've failed to follow. He's always letting you know about cool new sexual apparatuses that never even existed before his beyotch read about them in cosmo. He's well versed in all the fresh urban lingo so he's great to have at the club to stop you from potentially making an ass of yourself. He may appear to be stern or short-tempered when correcting your mistakes but he only expects of you what he expects of himself.

Box Guy: You're not going to the club like that? We need to get you some hoop earings.
Lise: How about these silver ones my grandma gave me.

Box Guy: No way, think bigger.

Lise: Right, sorry.
Box Guy: Do you have a vagina pager, all the girls have those.

Lise: What kind of knob do you think I am?
Box Guy: No, no, no, don't say that in public. It's pronounced n00b.
Lise: Touche.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh February 27, 2010

pickle gherkins

is Sherlock Holmes's cowardly sidekick brother. He puffs up like a toad when danger approaches often heard spouting inflated catch-phrases like 'by jove' or 'say'. He works for scotland yard, so he's passively instrumental to the plot, though his narrative is often flat, droning, and for the most part, easily overlooked and almost instantly forgotten and met with such response as timing one's breath to make sure one is still alive. Fortunately he's a ginger, so he manages to give of some air of spunk, however, that false impression is corrected upon getting familiar with him and his mannarisms. He lives vicariously and in actuality off of Shelock's genious and never feels the lesser for it. All in all an excellent side character to illuminate the others.

*car backfires*
Pickle Gherkins: *sputters and puffs up* By jove, old chap, I best be getting along back to scotland yard, say, to work on the documents, you know those fiddley details, yes, say, good then, I wish you luck.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 28, 2010

animegasm

an orgasm resulting from the watching of, creating of, or participating in anime.

I just had the most mind blowing animegasm. It involves a girl you know, a goat, a brickwall, a lot of tissues, and a circle of old biddies watching and crying their jealous little eyeballs out.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh December 8, 2010

Evra

A european woman who often has pronouciation problems with the english language and her speech failure inadvertantly ends up sounding like dirty talk.

Olga: Oh no, I think you may have burned something on the stove. Oh my, it smells like a skank.
Daughter: ?You mean skunk.

Olga: I don't like it when you speak erotically to me.

Daughter: ?You mean erratically.
Olga: You, shat up.
Daughter: I sweared, I sorry. *mutters under breath* Evra.

by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 16, 2010