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nethcev!'s definitions

College

An institute of learning, designed to serve as a hindrance to one's higher education. To this day I maintain that the smartest thing I ever did in college, was drop out.
The experience of a former student of DePaul University.
by nethcev! June 27, 2004
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art

The most belligerent expression of political, spiritual or emotional conception known to man; art is literally transforming one's most inflamed personal sentiments and perceptions into a tangible creation, designed for no other purpose then the architect's own personal satisfaction. Anything else is a marketing scheme.
Renoir was an artist. Hugh Hefner is a salesman.
by nethcev! April 28, 2004
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History

1. An argument for the cause of the present.
2. The study of man’s previous disasters, taught to ensure that future generations will never make the embarrassing mistake of repeating them, but will instead set about making new and even more complicated blunders.
3. The study of catastrophic events and the assholes that caused them. While preparing for an historical exam, one should note that any individual mentioned in the assigned textbook who was responsible for the death of at least a quarter of a million people, is probably worth mentioning on the test.
History is in itself an example.
by nethcev! August 20, 2006
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exorcist

One who combines the power of prayer with sacred ritual, as part of a desperate attempt to drive demonic forces from the bodies of spiritual hypochondriacs.
You can usually find an exorcist or two on one of those Hallmark channels that broadcast only at three or so in the morning.
by nethcev! August 24, 2006
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Rap

A particular genre of popular music which provides the listener with a symphonic experience that is on a par with having a stranger masturbate into one’s eardrum. This includes a throbbing, repetitive rhythm, or “beat” - which is equivalent to the motion of a hand running up and down the length of a male’s phallus - while simultaneously listening to some horny high school dropout rhyming and rambling off about his desire to “knock boots” with the listener, while concurrently threatening to “bust a cap in your ass” if the audience member refuses to respect his “slim shady.” To listen to rap music is essentially to be raped in the ear.
"Doctor Drae" is a rap artist.
by nethcev! September 9, 2006
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Heaven

Whether an actual place, or merely a concept, the appeal of Heaven is that of another world – a better world – a fresh start – a second chance, to live in death what you had dreamt in life.
Heaven
Chinese food.
A Pacific breeze
An eternity to spend,
With not just a lover, but also a friend.
by nethcev! August 24, 2006
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Jesus Christ

The “Prince of Peace” in whose name countless have been slaughtered.
Jesus Christ: the poem.

Jesus.
The savior.
The light of the world.
The big cheese up in the sky.
Who was nailed to a cross, so we wouldn’t die.
by nethcev! September 1, 2006
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