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nethcev!'s definitions

Relationship

The most un-sturdy and uncertain vessel to navigate through any ocean of the heart. While the warm winds of prevailing love and romance blow favorably through its sails, this un-seaworthy vessel steers ahead with pride and promise. But upon hitting rough and stormy weather, too often the relationSHIP flounders and sinks.
If you've yet to experience a relationship, then an example will do little to help you understand.
by nethcev! August 17, 2006
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Picture

A visual image or representation; painted, sketched, photographed or otherwise placed onto a flat two dimensional surface. Often it is said that a picture is WORTH a thousand words. This is, however, a fairly meager appraisal once one remembers that it is also often said that talk is CHEAP.
"Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum." Holmes
by nethcev! September 3, 2006
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Personal Computer

A tenacious and vindictive machine, whose primary function in the domestic sphere at the conclusion of the 20th century was electronic solitaire, yet within one year of the 21st century literally held every aspect of human life in its hands.
My personal computer is way too personal.
by nethcev! September 8, 2006
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Smile

An insignificant facial expression which is intended to suggest feelings of euphoria, satisfaction or relaxed complacency to others, but in actuality, more often serves as a social mask to disguise one’s true feelings.
Oh villain, villain, smiling, damned Villain!
My tables - meet it is I set it down,
That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain;
At least I'm sure it may be so in Denmark

Hamlet, Shakespeare
by nethcev! September 5, 2006
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Apologetics

A branch of Christian theology devoted to the study and defense of the holy origins of scripture, as well as the divinely ordained authority of the Church alone to interpret it. To fail apologetics is a sign of intelligence.
My "F" in freshman Apologetics eventually led me to drop out of semenary and enroll in an Ivy league University.
by nethcev! November 22, 2005
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History

1. An argument for the cause of the present.
2. The study of man’s previous disasters, taught to ensure that future generations will never make the embarrassing mistake of repeating them, but will instead set about making new and even more complicated blunders.
3. The study of catastrophic events and the assholes that caused them. While preparing for an historical exam, one should note that any individual mentioned in the assigned textbook who was responsible for the death of at least a quarter of a million people, is probably worth mentioning on the test.
History is in itself an example.
by nethcev! August 20, 2006
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exorcist

One who combines the power of prayer with sacred ritual, as part of a desperate attempt to drive demonic forces from the bodies of spiritual hypochondriacs.
You can usually find an exorcist or two on one of those Hallmark channels that broadcast only at three or so in the morning.
by nethcev! August 24, 2006
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