nethcev!'s definitions

Death

A state of existence that men tend to seek at their worst hours, and avoid during the rest of their years.

Deaths in 2003 (according to the World Health Report): 29.2% from cardiovascular diseases, 12.9% from Ischemic heart disease alone. 19.5% from parasitic diseases, lead by HIV 4.9%. Malignant neoplasms (growths and tumors) 12.5%, 2.2% from trachea, bronchus and lung. 6.7% from respiratory infections and 6.5% from respiratory diseases, chronic obtrusive pulmonary disease leading them with 4.8% of worldwide deaths. 6.2% from so called accidents, road and traffic injuries leading at 2.1%. 4.3% can be attributes to prenatal conditions, 3.4% to digestive diseases, chronic liver disease and cirrhosis of the liver combine to include 1.4% of worldwide deaths. Neuropsychiatric disorders such as Alzheimer’s take 1.9%, diabetes mellitus claims another 1.7% and Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis another 1.2%. Intentional injuries make 2.9% with suicide leading at 1.5% followed by homicide at 1.0% The remaining 3.7% died of various causes ranging from drowning to being mauled by a bear/bears.

by nethcev! January 2, 2006

human

An omnivorous mammal, commonly known to the scientific community as, “homo sapiens”, whose precise evolutionary origins remain in dispute. Though some believe that human beings are distinguished from other creatures through the unique possession of a “soul”, others believe that it is the desire of humans to find a sense of “meaning” and “purpose” in their finite existence which separates man from other beasts. A poodle, for instance, cares not whether its existence serves any greater purpose than its own being. Such thoughts have probably never even occurred to any poodle through out history, nor a gorilla or even a dolphin for that matter. Nor are they ever likely to.

"Cheer up, you're only human."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Individualist

One who refuses to adhere to or conform to the ways and standards of others, and thus has instead decided to live by his/her own unique standards and unorthodox practices just like all the other unique and unorthodox individualists.

"I'm not very much of an individualist."

by nethcev! August 26, 2006

Joke

Like matchsticks of humor, jokes, when kept dry, ignite flames of laughter.

"It was just a joke!"

by nethcev! August 26, 2006

Chemistry

The study of meaningless numbers and letters through complex equations, usually taught by a professor who owns or operates a methamphetamine lab on the side to help subsidize his/her meager income.

While I failed high school chemistry, my teacher was fired the following year for incompetence.

by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Soap

A chemical agent, designed to cleanse one of his/her external filth, thus removing all outside suspicion of one’s internal grime.

Examples of soap include: Irish Spring, Ivory, Dial, Zest etc.

by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Prison

A fishbowl for guppies. The real sharks get to stay in the ocean, and never fall into the mariners' nets. They instead run for elected office and make fortunes on Wall Street. Never do the big fish see the inside of an aquarium.

"The vilest deeds like poison weeds
Bloom well in prison air:
It is only what is good in man
That wastes and withers there:
Pale Anguish keeps the heavy gate
And the Warder in Despair."

Oscar Wilde

by nethcev! September 10, 2006