nethcev!'s definitions

guilt

An unfortunate side affect that results from being overly exposed to morality.

"I become overcome with guilt when i think about how poorly thought out my definition's examples are."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

funeral

When the friends, loved ones and acquaintances of a deceased person congregate around a coffin to bury the cadaver under dirt and white lies.

"Instead of a funeral, I'd like to be cremated with the intention of having my ashes preserved in a snow globe."

by nethcev! August 24, 2006

Ambition

What drives man to achieve failure with greater speed then had he just let fate run its course.

Personal experience

by nethcev! June 27, 2004

Joke

Like matchsticks of humor, jokes, when kept dry, ignite flames of laughter.

"It was just a joke!"

by nethcev! August 26, 2006

Chemistry

The study of meaningless numbers and letters through complex equations, usually taught by a professor who owns or operates a methamphetamine lab on the side to help subsidize his/her meager income.

While I failed high school chemistry, my teacher was fired the following year for incompetence.

by nethcev! August 23, 2006

Death

A state of existence that men tend to seek at their worst hours, and avoid during the rest of their years.

Deaths in 2003 (according to the World Health Report): 29.2% from cardiovascular diseases, 12.9% from Ischemic heart disease alone. 19.5% from parasitic diseases, lead by HIV 4.9%. Malignant neoplasms (growths and tumors) 12.5%, 2.2% from trachea, bronchus and lung. 6.7% from respiratory infections and 6.5% from respiratory diseases, chronic obtrusive pulmonary disease leading them with 4.8% of worldwide deaths. 6.2% from so called accidents, road and traffic injuries leading at 2.1%. 4.3% can be attributes to prenatal conditions, 3.4% to digestive diseases, chronic liver disease and cirrhosis of the liver combine to include 1.4% of worldwide deaths. Neuropsychiatric disorders such as Alzheimer’s take 1.9%, diabetes mellitus claims another 1.7% and Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis another 1.2%. Intentional injuries make 2.9% with suicide leading at 1.5% followed by homicide at 1.0% The remaining 3.7% died of various causes ranging from drowning to being mauled by a bear/bears.

by nethcev! January 2, 2006

Marriage

The sacred and legally binding prelude to divorce.

The marriage of Carmen Electra to Dennis Rodman, the marriage of Tom Cruise to Nicole Kidman, the Marriage of Brad Pitt to Jennifer Aniston etc, etc, etc,

by nethcev! August 17, 2006