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12 definitions by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle

 
1.
A fucking ugly bitch who goes out with the Porky Scotcher.
Who's the goofy cow taking a shit in the white van?

That's the girlfriend of the Porky Scotcher.

Fucking ugly bitch.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle May 16, 2009
 
2.
An annual competition to determine the world's most boring person. Won for the last 4 years by Fishy MacSwell who impressed the judges with his droopy old face, boring Pork Scotch Trousers and his insistence on having a barbecue every day of his pointless fucking life.
Kibbles: What are all those trophies for?

Trace: They're the Porky Scotcher's. He's won the World Championship of Boringness for the last 4 years.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 24, 2009
 
3.
A supermarket checkout assistant with a huge bony ridge on his forehead like a Klingon.
Monkus: Dad! Klingon alert!

Dad: Don't worry, its only Daniel Lumphead. Its David the Grunting Spacker you need to worry about.

Monkus: Shit, this place is full of retards.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle June 19, 2009
 
4.
A filthy bog in Nogtard's garden which is just asking to be put on the back of a Maltby lorry.
Nogtard's Bog will very soon be a close friend of Pork Scotch's Cone.

Nogtard: Nicking me bog then?
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle July 25, 2009
 
5.
The bin in which Nogtard's bog was dumped by the Rogue Maltbyite. When the bog was discovered by Monk and Mick the dumpster stank to high heaven because of Nogtard's disgusting shits.
Monk: Are we going to get Nogtard's Bog out of the Maltby Dumpster?

Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 04, 2009
 
6.
A snot-coloured hi-viz jacket worn by fat ugly security guards who are terrified of rain. The Pork Scotch Jacket will be worn whatever the weather because the slightest bit of rain is a complete catastrophe to the fat bastard who cries himself to sleep wishing he was back in South Africa where his boyfriends live.
What's this fat old twat wearing? Looks like an overcoat made of snot.

Its a Pork Scotch Jacket. Although its a hundred degrees in the shade there's still a chance a drop of rain might come along to ruin the fat ugly bastard's year.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 06, 2009
 
7.
A barbecue made out of a rusty barrel cut in half. Also known as a Pork Scotch Oven this shitty type of barbecue is most commonly used by little fat men with horrifically ugly girlfriends.
Thought you said the little twat had a barbecue.

Its over there, look. A half-barrel barbecue. Its a barbecue for complete losers.
by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 06, 2009