12 definitions by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle
Monkus: Dad! Klingon alert!
Dad: Don't worry, its only Daniel Lumphead. Its David the Grunting Spacker you need to worry about.
Monkus: Shit, this place is full of retards.
Dad: Don't worry, its only Daniel Lumphead. Its David the Grunting Spacker you need to worry about.
Monkus: Shit, this place is full of retards.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle June 19, 2009
The token midget at every Asda store. They are employed not only to pacify the Equal Opportunities brigade but also because they're really good at getting tins that have rolled under the shelves.
Dad, why is that little boy working on the checkout?
That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
That's no boy, that's the Asda midget. Every store has one.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 17, 2009
The bin in which Nogtard's bog was dumped by the Rogue Maltbyite. When the bog was discovered by Monk and Mick the dumpster stank to high heaven because of Nogtard's disgusting shits.
Monk: Are we going to get Nogtard's Bog out of the Maltby Dumpster?
Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
Mick: Yes we have to. The Rogue Maltbyite must be beaten. We'll put it back on the Maltby Lorry with a new sign attached to it.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 4, 2009
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 25, 2009
An appliance used by fat security guards for keeping all the food responsible for maintaining their waistline above 50 inches. To anyone else who has access to it its a repository for steaming piles of shit.
Pork Scotch (opening the Pork Scotch Fridge): Dear God what's that smell!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
Maybe your food's gone off.
Pork Scotch: Someone's put a bag of shit in my fridge!
I saw some niggers hanging round earlier.
Pork Scotch: I'll kill 'em all!
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 20, 2009
A type of constipation, the medical condition which results when Nogtard gorges himself on Sargent's apple pies and Hill biscuits. The obese Nogster loves all shitty biscuits and pies and has been known to feast on them for 6 hours at a stretch. The nogstipation can last up to a week. When it comes to an end and the fat retard eventually manages a dump the result can be explosive, not even the toughest porcelain being able to contain a mighty nogdump. Nogtard's legendary dumping exploits result in him getting through an average of 12 bogs per year. Roughly once a month the broken bogs are left in his front garden ready for removal to the nearest Maltby lorry.
Quick, phone the fire brigade, Nogtard's house has just blown up.
Don't panic, its probably Nogtard having a dump. He's had Nogstipation for the last week.
Don't panic, its probably Nogtard having a dump. He's had Nogstipation for the last week.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 5, 2009
An annual competition to determine the world's most boring person. Won for the last 4 years by Fishy MacSwell who impressed the judges with his droopy old face, boring Pork Scotch Trousers and his insistence on having a barbecue every day of his pointless fucking life.
Kibbles: What are all those trophies for?
Trace: They're the Porky Scotcher's. He's won the World Championship of Boringness for the last 4 years.
Trace: They're the Porky Scotcher's. He's won the World Championship of Boringness for the last 4 years.
by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle May 24, 2009