An apathetist is someone who instead of believing in the existence or non-existence of God, simply chooses not to give a flying rat's arse on the subject. They are freed from the delusion of religion; freed from the smugness of atheism; and freed from the indecision of agnosticism.
In a conversation about God, they will be the person who nods politely, then listens to their iPod until the conversation is over.
Religious: "Praise the Lord!! I live and breathe for Jesus!!"
Atheist: "I am just a bunch of chemicals whose life has absolutely no meaning. But dammit I won't rest until everyone else feels the same way!"
Agnostic: "There's no proof either way. Oh look there's a nice fence I'll go sit on!"
(verb) To exploit someone's strongly held alternative values and beliefs for the purposes of tricking them into going out of their way to help or support you. The subjects of a hippie-whip are compelled to act in your interests as it is a way for them to demonstrate their commitment to their hippie values.
Their daughter enjoys being a vegetarian, not because of any noble principles, but simply because it's a way for her to "hippie-whip" her parents into making a fuss over her and her vegetarianism.
The change in speech that happens (sometimes unconsciously) when an EFL
speaker is talking to an ESL
speaker. The EFL speaks louder & slower, uses clearer syllables and sometimes adopts the accent of their ESL audience.
Useful when ordering Chinese or Indian takeaway over the phone so it is more easily understood.
Has no racist motivations at all but is simply a practical way to assist communication.
EFL: "I have one beef-a-black-been, laaj spesha frai raice, tree dim sim."
ESL: "Ok, be ten fitteen minnas. Ba Bai."
Friend-of-EFL: "Dude, that was some nice ESL speak."
ESL: "Tayn-you. Mehbe I shudda orda sam sprin roos a well."
Friend-of-ESL: "OK you can stop now you friggin racist."
Skyping with your BFF while drinking wine. Much wine.
Sorry, gotta run, I'm late for my weekly Wype date!
(n) an ancient cartographical scroll of parchment used in the olden days to find out where you are or how to get somewhere else. Popular with pirates, vikings and pompous british sailors.
(v) to use a paper map to find a place or directions to somewhere
Jerry: "Hey Mavis, do you recognise this place? Maybe I shouldn't have taken that last exit? ... Why are there so many cows?"
Mavis: "Oh, hang on a minute, darl. I'll put down my knitting and get out the map google."
A British synonym of phantom phone
, the experience of feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket when in fact it hasn't. You are either imagining it or mistaking other vibration sources for your phone.
Commonly occurs when driving in the narrow cobble-stoned streets of London. More likely to occur if you are talking about someone behind their back. You suddenly think they're calling you, feel an immediate twinge of guilt, followed by immense relief when you realise it was just phone leg.
Ed: "Hang on, my phone's going. Oh no it's not. It's phone leg. I thought it was my daughter. Do you get phone leg?"
Rob: "Yes, but I try not to keep it in my leg."
Ed: "What are you, a terminator?"
A form of voyeurism frequently practiced by narcissistic, self-obsessed people with unconsciously low self-esteem while walking around or riding on public transport through a busy city.
It involves making snap judgments about the appearance of members of the same sex, e.g. clothes, hair style, build, accessories etc. The identity shopper then copies the appearance of people they like the look of, and so feel much better about themselves. Until they see someone better looking, then they copy them, and so on.
Over time, this cycle raises the standards of dress for a large part of the population which is why people in cities always look so much hotter.
Girl: "Wow, you've gotten hot since you moved to the city! Good work!"
Guy: "Thanks! I just try to copy all the hot guys I see walking around."
Girl: "Dude, you are so gay."
Guy: "Nah, it's just identity shopping."